I have this wonderful group of friends who have formed an unrelated-by-blood family (I mostly like them better than my bio-family).
We do lots of things together - we vacation together every year as a group and then we break out for a guy's trip and a women's trip. Some have children and a couple of them are graduating from high school this month.
Anyway, one couple in our group who weren't officially married, but had been living together for 12 years, broke up last fall. It has been really hard for our little family to watch this because we love them both very much. The breakup was very ugly - lots of nastiness on both sides.
Now we know that no one knows what goes on in a relationship except the people who are in it. They were falling apart for a LONG time before we even knew - in public they put on a very good face.
They have both started dating new people, but we have only met the new girlfriend, briefly at a public event. We put out email invitations to the group when we are planning a get-together and we have been including both of them on these invitations.
The man is very upset about this. He insists that she has hurt him so badly that he can never be around her. He wants us to drop her. She has never made the same demand about him. He just wants her to go away, and gets very mad at us because we continue to include her.
He has even gone so far as to say he cannot do any of the men's only functions because he feels that leaves his new gf out of the loop and that she is "his life."
Periodically he comes at individuals in the group with his demand that we cut his ex out. Today it was one of the mother's that has a daughter graduating. She is vulnerable right now as this is her only child and needless to say, the confrontation didn't go well. They are both very angry.
On one hand, I understand his need to avoid her. On the other hand, his insistence that we drop her feels too much like grade school bullying.
Don't really know what I'm asking - just needed to put it out there to people who don't have an investment in the situation.