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The Perfect Dining Room Table

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Furious1 posted 5/12/2014 16:05 PM

Ever since I bought my childhood home, I have searched years for the perfect dining room table. While I didn't know exactly what it looked like, I knew exactly what it was not. I am a klutz so it could not have sharp corners.

It had to seat a lot of people. It had to have sturdy chairs. It had to be made of real wood. Not the soft kind of wood. It had to be hardwood. Made to withstand all the knocks of life.

It could not be trendy. I wanted traditional. I wanted something I could pass on to my own children. It has to be able to stand the test of time. I want it to last for generations.

In my quest for the perfect dining room table, I realize that I put the same careful thought into choosing my WH. For too long, I blamed myself for choosing poorly.

Now I realize that choosing him is not permanent just as if I chose the wrong dining room table. WH is trying to be the dining room table that I want. Sometimes a square peg just can not fit into a round hole.

It's okay. I still love him. I love him enough to let him go. Just as I realize that a good dining room table isn't for me, it might be good for someone else in their dining room. Sometimes things just don't fit.

Forged1 posted 5/12/2014 17:23 PM

I love him enough to let him go.

Sort of how I'm feeling about my WW/ STBXW.

silentscream13 posted 5/12/2014 17:36 PM

In my quest for the perfect dining room table, I realize that I put the same careful thought into choosing my WH. For too long, I blamed myself for choosing poorly.

Now I realize that choosing him is not permanent just as if I chose the wrong dining room table. WH is trying to be the dining room table that I want. Sometimes a square peg just can not fit into a round hole.

I think I am just beginning to realize this myself.

Furious1 posted 5/12/2014 17:58 PM

Thank you for your responses. It is so hard to let go. I have an appointment with my doctor in the morning for antidepressants. WH has IC starting in the middle of June and we have MC scheduled for the first of June with my IC.

After swearing up and down for months that he never had sex with OW#6, he just admitted that they did have sex and that he was too afraid to tell me because he was afraid that it would be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

He just broke off a flirtatious thing he had going on with another co-worker from his old area. He calls it an affair because he lied to me about it.

I am shattered.

Furious1 posted 5/12/2014 18:23 PM

I have tried antidepressants in the past. I have had allergic reactions to all of them. The last one sent me into full anaphylactic shock so I am nervous. It hurts getting stabbed in the heart and waking up to find your doctor straddling your chest and pounding the heck out of you.

My doctor has refused to prescribe me anymore antidepressants. My only other option is hospitalization since I can not be medicated. Wish me luck. Whatever happens, happens.

yearsofpain25 posted 5/12/2014 21:14 PM

Ugh. I'm very sorry you are having another DDay Furious1. Wanted to let you know that you have been heard. I can feel your pain in your words. This probably set you back to square 1 with your WH. It boggles the mind in how they just don't get it sometimes. That he literally just started your pain all over again by not coming clean before.

Thinking about you tonight.

(((Furious1)))

yop

RomanticInnocenc posted 5/12/2014 23:37 PM

Furious, my heart breaks for you! Why do they do this? They hurt us and the one thing we ask for is the truth... HOW HARD CAN THAT BE? We deserve to know who and what we are married to! Please take care of yourself, do whatever you have to do to stay safe and as emotionally stable as possible, there is no shame in staying in a hospital for a while if that is what you need! Sending hugs!

Allornothing posted 5/13/2014 02:37 AM

(((Furious)))

Do whatever it is you need to take care of yourself. We're all here if you need us.

Sending strength hon

Furious1 posted 5/13/2014 11:59 AM

The doctor prescribed me antidepressants along with some antibiotics. All of the stress has my skin disease flaring up. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that I don't have a reaction to this medication.

Now that I have had a chance to sleep on it, I can understand why WH was afraid to tell me the truth about OW#6. It is a major setback. On one hand, I appreciate him finally telling me. On the other, I really hate that it took him so long to overcome his fears. As for the flirty stuff, I'm glad he finally sees how damaging it is.

There's just so much to think about right now. Thank you all for your support.

Breezy150 posted 5/13/2014 12:38 PM

(((Furious1)))

I am so sorry. Good luck with the anti depressants, I really hope that they work for you with no adverse reactions.

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