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hopefulfourus posted 5/13/2014 11:06 AM

My daughter is in a volleyball tournament out of town Memorial Day weekend. My son also has his sporting activities that weekend, but they are being held locally.

So I text my POS this information asking him if he is able to take our son to his sporting events. He texts back. "had plans but will change them". Wow, how big of you to do that for your son. Considering, you hardly EVER attend either of the kids events/practices.

I did NOT text any replies back. As far as I am concerned, he should change his plans. He always thinks of himself FIRST. Even though their activities are written all over a 16 x 18 calendar~he never checks or asks the kids whats going on.

ButterflyGirl posted 5/13/2014 11:22 AM

While discussing some finances over email, my ex reminded me that he pays for the kids' insurance (even though there are ZERO premiums for him at his job, and *I* pay the co-pays for the doctor and dentist visits with him refusing to help).

I could not seem to find any crickets and emailed him back:

"Which you pay nothing for? You want a cookie?

High five and standing ovation to you for father of the year."

Find your crickets girl, but send him that one in your mind

Softcentre posted 5/13/2014 11:23 AM

i hear your pain and frustration but, gently, he did the right thing here (shrug)

Kajem posted 5/13/2014 11:34 AM

My XH wanted an engraved invitation to every event our 4 kids were involved in. The schedule was not specific or engraved, so it was disregarded. The online calendar was not pretty enough - so it was ignored. I ran out of etiquette as far as he was concerned - no invitation from me. It took the kids a little while to get fed up with re inviting him to something they had already invited him too. And him not showing because he forgot!


peridot posted 5/13/2014 12:59 PM

They always want cookies for something they should be doing anyway. A real parent wouldn't need a reward for being a parent.

deena posted 5/13/2014 13:02 PM

I get reminded of how hard it is to get away from work for the early games and the big sigh with "I guess I will just eat later" for the later games. So much of a sacrifice for him....he should get a medal.
I don't even respond anymore.

See there are some who NEEEEED to get was one of the reasons my WH had to cheat.

I get the look if I don't remind him often to make sure he remembers AND I get the "I know" with rolling of the eyes if I remind him.
Can't win.
We still live in the same house unfortunately. So I try to keep the tension at bay for the kids.

hopefulfourus posted 5/13/2014 14:12 PM

I really think he was waiting for me to respond to him by telling him NOT to change his plans; that I would figure something out. This is what I used to do alot. Not anymore. Suck it up buttercup.

He will probably do what he did last time this happened~he called his sister and had her watch him overnight, so he could "keep" his plans. Jerk!

SBB posted 5/13/2014 19:04 PM

I would respond with a pick up and drop off time and place. There is no other response necessary. I would also have a Plan B and C in place in the very likely event that he fucks out.

He will reap what he sows. They forget that it isn't us they are impacting, it's the kids. They are merely annoying us and quite often we get used to not being able to rely on them for anything. It takes kids a little longer but they'll reach that place too.

I get this over sharing too. 'I have a board meeting' blah di blah blah bullshit bullshit .. so can you do X, Y, Z?".

I sometimes want to say "This is a yes/no situation. Keep the narrative to yourself."

But he gets crickets instead. Sad that the little petal still needs to overshare with an XW who doesn't really care if he lives or dies.

"Which you pay nothing for? You want a cookie?"

The sad clown pays for school (public school so only uniforms), daycare (ends at the end of 2015) before/after school care (minimal) and their portion of his health cover (minimal) out of his $250k+ income. He too wants cookies and likes to remind me of all the stuff he pays for.

I feel like saying a) they're cheaper to run than your whore, and/or b) you were forced to pay those or have CS increased to cover my portion of those costs. You'd be a deadbeat if you could and I fully expect you will be sometime in the next 14 years. Put away the trumpets - you are a Knight in Tin Foil.

deena posted 5/13/2014 19:06 PM

Oh so that's how he works it !?

The kids catch on fast. It will come back to bite him.
It's too bad the kids are the ones that get hurt.

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