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dilemma, wwyd?

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imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 11:07 AM

My Godfather died.

He was married to my Aunt, they divorced when I was 12, I am 45 now.

We were close(him and I and our families) up until their divorce and he tried to keep in contact with me after their D. I have 2 surviving cousins from his marriage to my Aunt. I have not seen nor spoken to them since I graduated from High School, a long, long time ago.

The reason? My Aunt (their Mom) is bat-shit crazy, so is my Grandmother on that side of the family and my Dad too and we just kind of chopped that branch off of the family tree when my parents got divorced after I graduated from High School.

I periodically google them, don't usually see anything of interest until this morning when I stumbled across my cousin's, who is 3 years younger than I am, Pinterest page. I was a little excited to finally find something. From there I found her Facebook page and saw that her Dad, my Godfather, had died about a week ago.

I want to reach out to her, tell her I am sorry about her Dad, sorry about everything really but I don't want to freak her out.

I don't expect contact. I don't expect a relationship, I just want to say I am sorry.

We were kids, kids who were influenced by our parents decisions. I think about them, wonder how they turned out, what their lives are like, etc.

What would you do?

Crushed1 posted 5/13/2014 11:25 AM

I would contact her and tell her I am sorry to hear of her father's passing. He was your Godfather after all so I think it would be appropriate to send condolences.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 5/13/2014 11:31 AM

I would reach out to her. If it's something that's tugging at you like this, I think you should do it, and let go of the outcome, to minimize regrets you may have later in life.

imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 11:46 AM

It is tugging at me and I don't want to lose this chance.

Even though she is 3 years younger, her birthday is about a week before mine so as kids we always had a joint birthday party.

I think I am supposed to contact her, after all the times I searched and came up with nothing now I find something?

It's too late to reach out to my Godfather.

Crushed1 posted 5/13/2014 12:02 PM

I think I am supposed to contact her, after all the times I searched and came up with nothing now I find something?

Exactly! There are no coincidences...

jo2love posted 5/13/2014 12:46 PM

I think reaching out to express your condolences is the right thing to do.

imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 13:09 PM

It's done!

I paid $1 to have the message delivered to her inbox on Facebook as we are not friends.

I said I was sorry to hear that he passed and that I have thought of her, her sister and her Dad often over the years and never had the courage to reach out.

I also told her that I don't expect anything from her, I just wanted to say I was sorry.

nowiknow23 posted 5/13/2014 13:27 PM

Sounds just perfect, imagoodwitch.

imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 13:50 PM

She messaged me back!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sitting at my desk blubbering away!

She wants to keep in touch!!!!!!

I don't know what to feel, really I don't.

This is just so wonderful!

I texted my sister, DD21, called my Mom!

They are all thinking I'm flipping my shit

Kajem posted 5/13/2014 18:19 PM

I'm glad you followed your instincts ( with a little permission from SI).

Enjoy your time catching up.


You've inspired me to seek out my stepsisters. We lost touch since their mom passed and my dad started seeing someone else.

[This message edited by Kajem at 6:22 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 5/13/2014 18:28 PM

That's wonderful, (((ima)))!!

jo2love posted 5/13/2014 19:36 PM

I am so happy for you!!!

Williesmom posted 5/13/2014 19:57 PM


imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 21:31 PM

When I called my Mom to tell her he passed she said "that's weird, I was just thinking about him", my sister said the same thing when I told her.

I think it was a sign, from him.

I have been messaging back and forth with my cousin all evening.

It's cool and weird at the same time.

Thanks for the nudge!

What is even weirder, I had googled him right after his father died and thought about calling him then. I googled him about a year or so later and saw that his mother had passed, thought about calling him then, have the urge to google him today, find out he has passed and it's too late to call him.

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