I need some help. STBXWH and I work for the same company....which is just so lovely right now.
We both have very good jobs there, but he is near the executive level at this time; I work part time and am home with our children most days. While I do work part time right now, I have a role has a lot of visibility and impact within the company (so I can't just hide in my cube all day unfortunately).
If you read through my profile, you'll see that my STBX is a SA; if the things he has been up to were to get out, I truly feel that his career would be in jeopoardy. And let's face it, I need him to keep his job - at least until I go full time and get on my feet independently (ideally at another company). And I want to do that on MY terms.
Well obviously people are going to find out that we are getting a divorce, but I feel like it is traumatizing all over again to have to keep his secrets. I have told a couple of close friends that I work with that infidelity is involved, but I'm not interested in blasting his business all over the place; I don't think that helps either one of us. Maybe that was a mistake, but I feel like I need support from the people I care about too you know? We are respectful to one another, and really don't see each other that often at work - we don't work in the same "area" either. It is really a non-issue for the most part.
Well yesterday a co-worker said, "So has he told you why he cheated? Because most men cheat when they don't get enough sex at home."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can I just tell you that it took every single ounce of my being not to completely lose my mind? I really, REALLY want to defend myself here, but I just can't do it. So now along with everything else going on in my life, my co-workers are going to think I don't "put out" enough to keep my husband.
I want people to know that I have done nothing wrong. I was a really good wife to this man. Turns out he was just more interested in hookers, panties and other men than me. I have taken beautiful care of the children we created together. The house is well taken care of and clean. I scratched his back, and told him how wonderful he was and how much I loved him every chance I had. Left him love notes. Made him his favorite meals. I would have never in a million years done anything to hurt him. And here I sit taking the blame for his actions, and I can't do much about it without causing even more problems in my life.
I just need to let go of those comments don't I? It will pass after time I suppose. Thanks for listening......