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Now I need a name...but not a nice one

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Mack9512 posted 5/13/2014 13:04 PM

This morning this jerkoff makes a point of storming into my office to "tell" me that I need to order him supplies. As he is walking out of my office he calls me "sweetheart". I almost lost my sh!t. I've had older men assume that I am a secretary just because I am a woman, but this guy really gets my goat.

I am in the back of the office and to get to me a person has to walk by 15 cubicles, and 6 of those cubicles house secretaries, and you can tell they are secretaries because of the place-cards on their cubicles walls that read "Secretary, Blah blah Division". My place-card says "Manager, Capital Programs, Domestic and International".

This asswipe knows that I'm not a secretary. He knows that I am at least 3 levels above him and he knows that it annoys the shit out of me. He does it on purpose and is desperate to get a rise out of me. I cannot turn him into HR because he only does it when no one else is around and he has a history of screaming reverse discrimination whenever anyone complains about his behavior. I have been able to resist the urge to plant my fist in his face and my foot in his ass by calling him every name in the my head. However I have run out of names so I need some new ones. Any suggestions?

20WrongsVs1 posted 5/13/2014 13:26 PM

In college I worked as a temp. secretary during the summers. At a law firm to which I was assigned once, another temp told me a story about how an elderly attorney once handed her a box of pencils and asked her to sharpen them.

She pointed to the electric sharpener on her desk and said, "I think you can sharpen your own fucking pencils."

I'm guessing that's why she was working as a temp. But I admired her assertiveness.

You clearly intimidate this guy, so he's trying to take you down a peg. No suggestions for names, maybe chihuahua. A harmless, but annoying ankle-biter. (No offense to meant dogs.)

Dreamboat posted 5/13/2014 13:30 PM

I think asshat fits very nicely.

But if you want to get a rise out of him, the next time he calls you sweetheart, call him "boy". Like in "whatever, boy" or "keep dreaming, boy". I am seriously a proponent of giving right back what someone gives me.

HFSSC posted 5/13/2014 13:34 PM

IGNORANUS. Someone who is both ignorant AND an asshole.

Rebreather posted 5/13/2014 13:51 PM

How about Captain Misogyny?

LearningToRun posted 5/13/2014 13:54 PM

I just wouldn't order his supplies or even pass on the request. Not your job, he needs to figure out the right person to pass it on to.

I'd ignore him, giving him any brain space is more than he deserves.

imagoodwitch posted 5/13/2014 14:02 PM

I like what Rebreather suggested!

tushnurse posted 5/13/2014 14:19 PM

I would be tempted to let one of my original names fly, Like Fucktard. But then again, you have a job of significant importance, so in my kindest, super sweet, dripping with sweetness ways I would send him an email, and copy his boss, my boss, and simply point out that you are not in charge of placing orders, and who he needs to request this from, with their contact information, and that next time you hope he can refrain from being condescending will overlook the remark this time, but next time you will be forced to report him to HR. HAHAHAHHA

GabyBaby posted 5/13/2014 15:04 PM

This is one of those situations in which a VAR would be very handy...

Just sayin...

sisoon posted 5/13/2014 15:05 PM

How about talking with HR and maybe getting permission to tape him?

simplydevastated posted 5/13/2014 15:07 PM

TN nailed it!

Besides, any HR rep can see through the fake "reverse discrimination" attempts. It doesn't matter if he says it in public or private, apparently he's been reported before.

DepressedDaddy posted 5/13/2014 15:10 PM

Yup, TN has the right idea. Professional, but passive aggressive enough to get under his skin. He won't be able to help himself and then you bring HR in.

jrc1963 posted 5/13/2014 15:51 PM

IGNORANUS. Someone who is both ignorant AND an asshole.

I am so stealing this!!!!

Sad in AZ posted 5/13/2014 15:51 PM

Yup. Forget about names. Deal with the situation, but I wouldn't address him. I'd go straight to his boss. Lay out the situation without drama and tell him it has to stop, or you will take it up the next step. Copy in HR.

It's not true that you can't go to HR if no one else saw it. How do you think sexual harrassment claims get started?

meaniemouse posted 5/13/2014 17:15 PM

Ignoranus is hilarious and appropriate although probably not a word you can use in this situation anywhere but inside your head without looking as bad as he does.

I would definitely talk to HR because I'm guessing you are not the only one who gets this treatment. Where I work they take the "hostile work environment" very seriously and it covers everyone and work relationships in both directions.

For example, I had a student in my class who did some really sketchy things that made me very uncomfortable. He was also sneaky and manipulative. When I'd had enough I turned it over to our department chairperson and the guy was dropped from the class two days later. Even though I was in the more "powerful" position, I felt the things he did were inappropriate and could possibly jeopardize my job/reputation if they were allowed to continue and I didn't involve someone else.

I really hate people like that. As if work isn't stressful enough!

Mack9512 posted 5/13/2014 17:48 PM

Thanks everyone. I should expand on the can't go to HR remark. I could but from past experience with he said/she situations my HR department has done bubkus. I work for a government entity so it really isn't surprising.

I talked to his supervisor and he was mortified. He was trying to figure out "why" he would do such a thing, especially since he isn't even in my division. He said he would talk to him and enforce that he is not to go anywhere near me unless it was project related. Whether or not he does anything, well, we shall see. I did tell him that if if his employee does came anywhere near me I will make sure that he gets taken to task for his behavior. Of course I was calling Captain Misogyny all types of names in my head including asshat and ignoranus and a few of my own like fucknugget.

fireproof posted 5/13/2014 18:49 PM

If there is a next time I would act with kindness and say "Unfortunately I don't know who orders supplies for your group but I would check with your manager or a team member. Good luck!"

People have all kind of motivations maybe he likes you are likes to get a rise out of people.

He is definitely not worth the space in your mind.

Amazonia posted 5/13/2014 19:46 PM

Based on your last comment, just duck into HR and ask for contact info for your agency's EEO Counselor. Then talk to that person about how to handle.

Jeaniegirl posted 5/13/2014 23:59 PM

What Sad in AZ said except .... go by this asswipe's cube and tell him to meet YOU in HIS supervisor's office as you have something to say. Then say it. Make it clear he needs to know you are not the supply clerk.

Bluebird26 posted 5/14/2014 04:40 AM

Can you record him?

Reminds me of when I was the secretary and the general manager called me into this office and asked me how the coffee tastes today because he didn't have any yet and tipping over an empty cup, I said terrible and I walked out. He made his own god damn coffee from then on

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