When his fantasy bubble bursts he might realize what he has lost, but you will be stronger and healthier for having distance from him.
I know it's not easy to look at it that way right now. Trust and lean on us - you are going to show your daughter love and integrity and save her from a jerk like him. Sending you love and hugs.
Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16
It is so painful and frustrating to not even really 'exist' anymore in his world. I am struggling with the disconnect, turning off the love, and am constantly reminding myself that in time I will be so glad to be over this. We will survive, it will be different and still a struggle when dealing with WH, but I know I will be a new strong confident person that will find someone to treat me right and love me for who I am without 'pretending' or 'fitting a mold'...I get those comments too. Stay strong, remember he is not the same person you knew before - it's ok to grieve and feel sad, take it day by day.
Make sure to take care of yourself. I know it sucks really bad, but let your body just feel the pain. It will die down so much quicker that way. The more we fight it, the longer it lasts. He is an ass. Nothing you can do will change that.
One of my methods is called, "whispers to the heart." Literally look down at your chest and talk to your heart. "I feel you hurting." "We are going to survive." "You are strong." "I hear you and we are going to get through this." Understand that our heart is as important as our mind. If we want a scientific explanation, it moves our response from our limbic system (impulse, emotion and behavior) to our frontal lobe (reward, attention, satisfaction).
Another thing that I do is a form of eastern medicine. It involves physically massaging the heart. Take your right hand and place it in the center of your chest. In an outward (to the left) motion, massage your heart. You can do it as much as needed, but the physical touch to an emotionally painful heart is soothing. I tend to do this a few hundred times if needed. I will take deep breaths, lay outside, or do this exercise while in a warm shower.
This is all about listening to our body, versus listening to our mind. You can do it. We are here for you. Stay strong. You will get through all of this.
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."
Your heart needs time to catch up with your brain. It WILL happen but it does take time. Are you in IC? How is your support IRL?
The man you thought you married is dead and you need time to grieve. You are so strong ~ stronger than you ever imagined. You and your children will be ok. I know you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel but it is there.
Lean on us during this difficult time, FaithnMe! We are here for you!
*Praying today is a better day.. for all of us
As much as it hurts that he is leaving, you will be so much better off when his poison is far away from you. His cruel words only mean that he is broken, to hurt you in this way. It means NOTHING about your worth.
And the pain you feel, as hard as it is, means that you know how to love fully. It opens you to being injured, but it also says something wonderful about you.
You can get through this and you and your DD will have a wonderful new calm once he is gone. It will take time but you will heal and be renewed.