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Divorce/Separation :
Respond or crickets? I know I know, classic,humor me

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 Helen of Troy (original poster member #26419) posted at 9:29 PM on Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

Asshole: "If it is not enough that you block me after 9pm from talking to my 17 year old daughter now you are blocking me before 9 pm??? I have recorded the blocking message and it has a day and time stamp. Now please allow communication with my daughter."

HoT: I've added more minutes for each kid, our daughters.

Asshole: "Well if I was a anytime acess person then you wouldn't have to worry about it but I guess control is what you are all about not allowing "OUR" children talk to their Father when ever they feel. I don't care how you twist it you have denied me access to talk to them when i wish for almost 4 years now. Why would one parent want to block another from talking to their child? It just doesn't seem like good parenting to me. I am responsible enough to know when they need sleep and to not disturb them. You have your dad accessible 24 hrs a day but not their children????? What sense does that make. Please consider a change in your control policy for the children's sake."

Backstory: he wants to be able to call them at 2am on school nights. No. I have them set to off at 9pm on school nights. Owife got a new phone and number because I blocked her. She then gets them to download apps to chat with them and alienate me. She about blew a gasket and sent me nastygrams because he and SHE didn't get mother's day. I ignore her 100% of the time. This apparently pisses her off beyond belief. She said she has screenshots of me being rude to my kid. Ok, whatever. I have ones of her making false accusations to my kids about me (did not tell her that just keep it in my back pocket). She is starting to become unglued.

He keeps referencing MSA about not blocking contact. I said they're free to use my phone if there is an emergency. They won't have phones on past 9pm on school nights. I don't make a fuss of it but the teens rarely or never contact me when they're with him. They don't respond to my texts or calls. His last tirade they'd run out of minutes and I didn't fix that while out shopping for groceries I want to retort all of this back to him and clear things up about this fake blockage he is stuck on.

The classic SI post-- respond or crickets?

I am so sick and tired of this stupid dance where he is nasty and rude I have to explain and he retorts time and time again. I'm sick and tired of being called controlling. Wah wah wah that's what he sounds like in email wah wah wah owife is on my ass so I have to go kick you wah wah wah wah. Shut the fuck up already. I'm no where near as controlling as that slut he married and can site many examples but why bother.

posts: 4809   ·   registered: Dec. 4th, 2009
id 6797585
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shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 9:37 PM on Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

HelenofTroy

First off - -

Wah wah wah that's what he sounds like in email wah wah wah owife is on my ass so I have to go kick you wah wah wah wah.

My vote: Crickets

FTG

But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17

posts: 1729   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2003
id 6797601
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 10:51 PM on Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

crickets.

Don't answer any of it.

You can't prove a negative, remember?

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6797730
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 12:24 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Crickets is best.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 6797855
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courageous ( member #34477) posted at 12:35 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

I have found that any attention is good attention to them. There is no need to correct his accusations. It will bug him more if you don't answer. FTG!

Also he has no right to tell you how late the kids should be allowed to talk to him on a school night when they are not with him

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6797863
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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 12:59 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

You know you'll never 'clear things up' with him, so don't try.

Your house, your phones, your rules. End of story. Crickets to him & OW. Blissful silence for you.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6797884
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 1:20 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Crickets. That bitch is all kinds of crazy and I would not be doing a single thing to help lift him out of that quicksand. All it will do is feed the beast. Starve that fucker. Starve him good.

Do your girls want to talk to her? How the fuck did she get screenshots of your messages to them? Is she spying on them or are they showing her. How old is your other DD? How often do they have to spend time over there?

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6797908
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PollyA ( member #40567) posted at 2:43 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

Definitely Crickets.

You are doing your teens a favor by being "the bad guy" and not letting them have cell phones at night. Today on npr a teen "rookie reporter" did a story about teens' severe lack of sleep due to constant accessibility via phones.

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/teens-sleeping-cell-phones-clear-and-present-danger

XH is just being a whiny baby...

BW - 2 x's ( once before married, got therapy, thought we'd both moved forward)
WH - SA? Probably not. Just a Selfish ASS
DD1 - 4/2001 - 1 OW, left, returned, therapy, thought he'd "gotten it". I was wrong.
DD2 - 8/2013 -

posts: 468   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2013   ·   location: PollyA
id 6798011
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 2:56 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

BTDT i corralled phones at 9pm, powered them down and charged them. He did the same thing rant rant rant.

He brought it up in a 4 way meeting as an example of me alienating him!!! I had prior months phone bills with his highlighted calls at 10 -11 pm. His attorney was livid, XH waisted an hour of their time with this crap.

Good luck.

K

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6798034
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 3:02 AM on Wednesday, May 14th, 2014

His attorney was livid, XH waisted an hour of their time with this crap.

You know what we say... Give him enough rope and he will hang himself with it. You don't need to help him there!

Chirp chirp!

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6798040
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