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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: Text from WW - Cast your vote
knockeddown
♂ 43090
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is what she wrote:

"I just wanted to say that (babysitter) told me that you got a dog. You don't need to consult me on your decisions but it would have been nice to have heard it from you especially since DD does go over to your house and that a dog is a big deal and adjustment. When changes happen that will be impacting DD it would be nice to be told from you instead of hearing from others."

My reply options:

A) "You are such a hypocrite talking about decisions that impact DD's life and adjustment"
B) "I can bring the dog over tonight so DD can meet her before DD comes to visit tomorrow."
C) Crickets
D) "Your control over me ended when you began talking to another man confidentially and had sex with him."

So....whaddaya think?


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
Charity411
♀ 41033
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I vote for C. If you think about it, what bugs her the most is that you didn't even consider her opinion when you got a dog. Nor should you have. So bug her even more by not even considering responding to her email. It will be far more effective than any of the other options.

Posts: 413 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
Allornothing
♀ 42354
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely C. Don't allow yourself to be dragged into what would essentially be a pointless argument.

I'm pretty sure that DD will be happy to have a new best friend!


Me- BS 43
Him- FWH 43
Married 19 years, Together 26
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 257 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

E. Hey dumb ass, your decision to have an affair certainly impacted DD's life. I don't recall you consulting me before you became his cumdumpster.

Too harsh?


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 8084 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
lieshurt
♀ 14003
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely C.


A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.

Posts: 13879 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
yearsofpain25
♂ 42012
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let her have it with crickets. That will have more of an impact on her


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2474 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
craig2001
♂ 55
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have to get my digs in I think. But I dont know your situation. If it were me, I might have to get a dig in like, well a dog is so trustworthy and faithful.

Posts: 4436 | Registered: Jun 2002
gutfeeling
♀ 41652
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd exercise caution since (from my brief review of your profile) she has a history of trying to set you up.

I'd respond something like this:

"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. The dog is very sweet and child friendly. I will handle DD's introduction and don't anticipate an issue. If there is need for input, I will ask for it. At this point, your decision to have an affair means that you no longer control the details of my life. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."


Then probably crickets to anything she spews back with


Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
plainpain
♀ 40139
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets. A dog is not an "adjustment" that has anything to do with your child's life with WW, any more than if you buy your child a new bed or take them to the circus. No need to inform her, no need to explain, justify or give account.

I would be SOOOO tempted to say something like, "Your judgement on what sort of actions will impact our child is impaired." But best to go with crickets. Agreed, that will probably bug her more anyway.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 809 | Registered: Jul 2013
bluewater
♂ 9297
Member # 9297
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Either this:

"I just wanted to say that no one told me that you got an OM. You didn't need to consult me on your decisions but it would have been nice to have heard it from you especially since DD does go over to your house and that a OM is a big deal and adjustment. When changes happen that will be impacting DD it would be nice to be told from you instead of hearing from others."

Or:

C) Crickets.

Though to be honest crickets is probably the way to go.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Jan 2006
knockeddown
♂ 43090
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your feedback. I really, really like this response:

"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. The dog is very sweet and child friendly. I will handle DD's introduction and don't anticipate an issue. If there is need for input, I will ask for it. At this point, your decision to have an affair means that you no longer control the details of my life. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."

Thanks, gutfeeling!

What do other people think about me texting back this statement then going crickets to anything she responds?

Crickets kind of puts on the whole, "I don't give a f*ck" kind of attitude. I kinda like the idea.


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
LivingLearning
♀ 42637
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really Gutfeeling's response:
"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. The dog is very sweet and child friendly. I will handle DD's introduction and don't anticipate an issue. If there is need for input, I will ask for it. At this point, your decision to have an affair means that you no longer control the details of my life. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."

And crickets after she says stupid stuff back.


Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
MediumRare
♂ 35128
Member # 35128
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets.

And if she persists, I might drop a random text about how you can at least get a dog fixed so it wont go fuck the neighbor.


BS (ME): 44
WS(HER): 42
9 years
OM#1- 20-something loser, stole bunch of my things after she had sex with him in our bed (no condoms, STDs)
OM#2- 24 year old, unemployed loser, lives with mom & dad
DDay 1/2012
NC 3/20/2012
SGASDay 4/1/2012

Posts: 722 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I took DD into consideration, as I always do. The dog is very sweet and child friendly. I will handle DD's introduction and don't anticipate an issue. If there is need for input, I will ask for it. At this point, your decision to have an affair means that you no longer control the details of my life. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."

I love this response for the most part.


Instead of saying:

to have an affair means that you no longer control the details of my life

I would instead say:
to have an affair means that you are no have any rights to the details of my life

Then go "crickets" on her arse.
She does not, nor will she ever again have any "control" in your life.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 4:36 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6737 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The way I see it .... She's looking for a reaction from you. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of taking the bait.

She didn't ask a question. No answer needed.

On to more important stuff. What kind of dog? Pics?


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5744 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
twitching
♀ 42399
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quit agonizing over it and pick a choice. Then go walk your dog.


"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
knockeddown
♂ 43090
Member # 43090
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I responded with

""I took DD into consideration, as I always do. The dog is very sweet and child friendly. I will handle DD's introduction and don't anticipate an issue. If there is need for input, I will ask for it. At this point, your decision to have an affair means that you no longer have any rights to the details of my life. I have always been and will continue to be a loving and responsible parent."

She responded (please read my profile to get the full effect of this comment):

"I am not saying that. I am saying that I should hear these things from you instead of a third party. Your decision to be involved with school more than your family means I don't need your input either however as DD's parents I believe that there are things we should be on the same page about. I thought we agreed on that. As DD's father I consider your input with everything impacting DD. Such as discussing zoo and theme park passes with you which you made a decision on your own about."

[This message edited by knockeddown at 4:49 PM, May 13th (Tuesday)]


Me- BS 27 Always faithful
Her- WS 28
2 mo.? PA
Married 5 years (lived together 9)
2-year-old daughter
DDay-3/15/2014
Marriage Dissolved - 10/9/2014

Posts: 105 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
veronique12
♀ 42185
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't respond now. There's no way out of this one. She's looking for a fight and looking to be right. Don't give her the satisfaction.


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 571 | Registered: Jan 2014
Uhtred
♂ 40392
Member # 40392
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets would be the best bet in my opinion. I wouldn't even respond to it.


Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”

Posts: 633 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
gutfeeling
♀ 41652
Member # 41652
Default  Posted: 4:55 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets now!

Posts: 155 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 70
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