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Newest Member: Alleycats (61167)

User Topic: It's the little things
♀ 38207
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, May 13th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've been in a good place for a while. Trust is up. Triggers are down. Communication is better. Of course, everything will be in progress forever.
Today, though, there was an event. My friend took a picture of campaign signs being removed from state-owned land at a local intersection. In the background, my husband's work truck was passing through the intersection - which would mean he was heading from location back to the yard and was likely done for the day. My mind started racing. I checked the time of the post against the current time and worked out where he should be. I took a deep breath and texted to check in. And, you know what, he told me exactly where he was, it lined up with where he should have been and how long it took him to get home was just right. Before, he would have skirted around where he was and then would have said he was trying to surprise me when he figured out I knew where he should be. To almost anyone else I know, this would be so trivial, but for us, it really is a victory.

Posts: 1595 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ 38804
Member # 38804
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is how trust is built, isn't it? Brick by brick, slowing building a new foundation. Happy for you.

Me - BSO, 36
Him - fWSO, 36
9y together. Dday 11/19/12
DDay Nov 2012

Posts: 56 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 35862
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 4:48 AM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just mentioned this same thing to H the other day. I realized that I have come to believe that he will be where he says he will be, when he says he will be. I couldn't count on that during the A.

That being consistent and conscious of his needing to be consistent is a HUGE step in rebuilding our M and relationship. It's a bit scary to be trusting again. I've worn a coat of distrust for a long time and it's hard to part with it.

So happy for you!

Me: BS H: WS
4 kids
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 960 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 42637
Member # 42637
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So happy for you and your WS.

Living and learning how to move forward
Me: BGf
Him: WBf
Dday: 02/2013

Posts: 116 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 4

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