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Newest Member: 2ndChance (61863)

User Topic: Seriously
♀ 38674
Member # 38674
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just got word that drs have diagnosed me with depression xml and now they want me to go to counseling where's the white give up flag when I need it.....

me 34
him 34
7 wonderful kids 14 yrs 10 yrs 7 yrs 6 yrs and 4 yrs 2yr ..and new baby
married 15years together for 12

my give a damn is busted

Posts: 265 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: cold ohio
♀ 42544
Member # 42544
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but it can be dealt with now. Nothing wrong with raising the white flag when you need it. Wishing you well.

Together - 14 years
Married - 7 years
DDay- Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA

Hopeful reconciliation.

Posts: 152 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 2766
Member # 2766
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When infidelity gets served on a platter into our lives, it often comes with a side of depression. Definitely see your Dr. and see if medications will help you through this. No shame should be felt, at all, for needing help.

Posts: 3061 | Registered: Nov 2003 | From: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think its pretty common around here. I've had a lot of trauma/drama in the last few years, not A related, and made it without AD's but I finally realized I needed help. Infidelity has,way to many ways to f**k with your head.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think there's a pretty bag stigma around counseling, and I hate that.

There should be a stigma around people who are recommended to go to counseling, but refuse to (like my ex).

There are some bad counselors out there, of course, but I think the majority of times it helps people. All you do is talk about your issues/insecurities/fears/etc and try to get things in perspective! And you can always switch counselors if you want!

I like taking my kids to counseling to give them a neutral 3rd party to talk to and vent about their issues, regarding the divorce and otherwise, without worrying about offending either parent.. Maybe my DS10 is frustrated with his dad, but he doesn't want to tell me because he doesn't want me getting mad at his dad, so the counselor gives him a safe place to express his feelings.

This is great for the adults too.. Sometimes you just need a neutral third party in your life. Maybe people like your mom and best friend mean well, but they will probably always have biases.. It's nice talking to someone who has no other connections in your life and where everything is confidential..

And honestly, I think every BS should get some counseling to deal with the trauma of infidelity and talk to someone not involved in the situation. And I ESPECIALLY recommend counseling to betrayed spouses who have particularly mean, abusive, gas lighting, blame-shifting exes who get particularly nasty. I "mostly" knew I wasn't crazy and that he was gaslighting me, but it meant a lot to have my counselor confirm my feelings... Counseling was a huge help in reminding me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like..

xBW~ 37
Two DS~ 9 and 13

Posts: 3120 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ 42970
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just started antidepressants yesterday. Depression has been a long standing issue with me, but I have only been in counseling and trying to deal with it for the past 2 years. For too long, I was worried about the stigma of being labeled. I was worried that it would damage any future career opportunities or that it could be used against me if I chose to divorce my WH.

I understand the feeling of wanting to give up at times. It's not an easy road. When I first started counseling, I was more than a little freaked out about talking to someone. I was so afraid that they would judge me. The first counselor I saw wasn't a good fit. I was so intimidated that I could not open up. The second counselor put me at ease right away and I have been with him for the past two years.

As for worrying about the stigma, I realized that it takes a lot of guts to get help. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hang in there brokensunflower. You are not alone in this.

BW (me): 43 WH (him): 51
3 adult kids (his, mine, and ours)
D-day: 10/4/13. Married 21 years. Numerous A's spanning 19 years and a 11 year PA with my sister. A went underground for a year after D-day. Polygraph on 1/11/17. He passed.

Posts: 6668 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
♀ 27428
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


There is no shame in treating a medical condition.


Posts: 1830 | Registered: Feb 2010
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40250 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I got a depression diagnosis as well. It is treatable. Hang in there. We're here for you.

Posts: 30662 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, May 15th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm sorry. After Dday I stalled going to the dr for mos. When I finally went they said depression, anxiety, ptsd, meds, counseling, etc... I am in a much brighter place because of the tools they gave me. You will get there to. Sending you strength and hope.

Posts: 50943 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 10

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