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brokensunflower posted 5/14/2014 12:45 PM

Just got word that drs have diagnosed me with depression xml and now they want me to go to counseling where's the white give up flag when I need it.....

Losconang15 posted 5/14/2014 13:16 PM

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis but it can be dealt with now. Nothing wrong with raising the white flag when you need it. Wishing you well.

JanetS posted 5/14/2014 13:33 PM

When infidelity gets served on a platter into our lives, it often comes with a side of depression. Definitely see your Dr. and see if medications will help you through this. No shame should be felt, at all, for needing help.

Ostrich80 posted 5/14/2014 14:58 PM

I think its pretty common around here. I've had a lot of trauma/drama in the last few years, not A related, and made it without AD's but I finally realized I needed help. Infidelity has,way to many ways to f**k with your head.

ButterflyGirl posted 5/14/2014 15:19 PM

I think there's a pretty bag stigma around counseling, and I hate that.

There should be a stigma around people who are recommended to go to counseling, but refuse to (like my ex).

There are some bad counselors out there, of course, but I think the majority of times it helps people. All you do is talk about your issues/insecurities/fears/etc and try to get things in perspective! And you can always switch counselors if you want!

I like taking my kids to counseling to give them a neutral 3rd party to talk to and vent about their issues, regarding the divorce and otherwise, without worrying about offending either parent.. Maybe my DS10 is frustrated with his dad, but he doesn't want to tell me because he doesn't want me getting mad at his dad, so the counselor gives him a safe place to express his feelings.

This is great for the adults too.. Sometimes you just need a neutral third party in your life. Maybe people like your mom and best friend mean well, but they will probably always have biases.. It's nice talking to someone who has no other connections in your life and where everything is confidential..

And honestly, I think every BS should get some counseling to deal with the trauma of infidelity and talk to someone not involved in the situation. And I ESPECIALLY recommend counseling to betrayed spouses who have particularly mean, abusive, gas lighting, blame-shifting exes who get particularly nasty. I "mostly" knew I wasn't crazy and that he was gaslighting me, but it meant a lot to have my counselor confirm my feelings... Counseling was a huge help in reminding me what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like..

Furious1 posted 5/14/2014 19:06 PM

I just started antidepressants yesterday. Depression has been a long standing issue with me, but I have only been in counseling and trying to deal with it for the past 2 years. For too long, I was worried about the stigma of being labeled. I was worried that it would damage any future career opportunities or that it could be used against me if I chose to divorce my WH.

I understand the feeling of wanting to give up at times. It's not an easy road. When I first started counseling, I was more than a little freaked out about talking to someone. I was so afraid that they would judge me. The first counselor I saw wasn't a good fit. I was so intimidated that I could not open up. The second counselor put me at ease right away and I have been with him for the past two years.

As for worrying about the stigma, I realized that it takes a lot of guts to get help. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Hang in there brokensunflower. You are not alone in this.

abbycadabby posted 5/14/2014 19:22 PM


There is no shame in treating a medical condition.

nowiknow23 posted 5/14/2014 19:38 PM


LosferWords posted 5/14/2014 19:43 PM


I got a depression diagnosis as well. It is treatable. Hang in there. We're here for you.

jo2love posted 5/15/2014 08:03 AM


I'm sorry. After Dday I stalled going to the dr for mos. When I finally went they said depression, anxiety, ptsd, meds, counseling, etc... I am in a much brighter place because of the tools they gave me. You will get there to. Sending you strength and hope.

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