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Assassination of character

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WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 15:58 PM

I am striving for the 180 every day. However, the STBX continues to tell lies about me. Ridiculous ones, that I know no one who's close to me will believe. I've ignored him so far, but there is evidence that this is escalating.

I understand...I do. He has betrayed me on every level, but in order for him to present himself as a great guy, he's got to discredit me. The lies are audacious. Is there anything I can do to stop him?

needfriendshere posted 5/14/2014 16:07 PM

Gosh, I am so sorry. Your WH is adding insult to injury - literally. Is there something you can do? Honestly, just hold your head high. You said that anyone who knows you will know they are lies. That's what matters.

Short of sewing his mouth shut, I can't think of how you can "make him" stop. He appears to be determined to try to build himself up by putting you down. I know it sounds corny, but the truth always prevails. And he will end up looking like the fool when that happens.

I wish I knew of a way to make him stop. I send you hugs! Hang in there!

nowiknow23 posted 5/14/2014 16:12 PM

You have a lawyer, WinterBranch? If so, I would run it by them.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this additional crap from him. ((((WB))))

WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 16:46 PM

needfriendshere-- thanks, it's what I'm trying to do. But is is SOOOO HARD.

NIK, you are a real touchstone. I always know you'll respond, and thank you so much, from my heart. You'll never know how much it means to me,through all this crazy.

I have run this through legal, briefly, because I don't have much money now. All options seem to hinge on my willingness to pursue through suits, which I do not have the cash nor the heart to do. One thing the STBX has over me is NO fear of courts (how could he, he thinks if he says or thinks something, it's right...DUH!). It gives him a lot of bravado.

I found out he'd been defaming me to my own parents last summer...6 months prior to DDAy he was telling them I physically abused him...which did not happen. He also believes he'll win in court against the IRS, although they've seized all his accounts. He also thinks I tried to kill him with the tree branch in the front yard, and that I hate his grandchildren, who have curled up with me for storytime innumerable times.

Pretty much dealing with a mentally unhinged person who thinks he does no wrong.

I'm thinking I just need to get Far Far Away. I just cannot wrap my mind around the insanity of it all. I need help with coping.

SpecialK posted 5/14/2014 17:07 PM

Start keeping a journal, and record his BS. I pray that your parents showed him the door? I know it's hard to stand by and let someone lie about you, but at the end of the day, the people that truly know you and matter will see it for the BS it is and the rest, well, who gives a shit what they think. He knows he's a liar and by you maintaining your integrity (aka "taking the high road")just shows what a little manchild he is.

WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 17:22 PM

I did not find out about his conversation with my parents til last month. They say they just did not want to hurt me by repeating his BS.

Ostrich80 posted 5/14/2014 17:38 PM

Gosh its like salt in the wound. Hopefully your lawyer will have advice for you. He sounds mentally unstable. I'm sure most ws at some time talk trash on the bs but he seems to be taking it way past the line. He's really going out of his way to do it. Just seems over the top.

WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 17:43 PM

The day he had the conversation with my parents, I came home and found him crying. It was my birthday, and my mom says she was calling to wish me a happy one. He claimed my mother attacked him with no provocation. That's not the story my mother tells. I guess he was trying to isolate me from support...I don't know. I'm starting to think this affair was not the only one...just the one I discovered. His crazy behavior can be tracked a while back, in hindsight.

I dunno...that's hard, and I'm crushed between my own parents and him, there.

WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 17:46 PM

Ostrich80--it IS over the top. I just cannot put this all together in a rational way. I cannot put my finger on what is missing from the equation. It is bizarre.

Nature_Girl posted 5/14/2014 17:47 PM

You probably will need to learn to let it go. My ex has been smearing me & assassinating my character since before my children were born. He had his family and mine turned against me. He lied to his IC/our MC about me, he lied to our pastors and people at church about me. Worse, he lies to the children about me.

There is nothing I can do to stop him. Nothing.

My only choice is to live with honesty & integrity, praying that people who know me will see the truth of my character and the depth of his lies. I am constantly on-guard with my kids, making sure that they know they can ask me about anything. Just a few days ago my son was in tears telling me that Dad was lying about me again. He would not tell me what Dad was saying, but he did say that he got into a screaming match with him to try and force him to stop.

I'm sorry, so sorry, that you're dealing with this. For people this sick, there's no stopping them, so you have to go on living the best life you possibly can.

WinterBranch posted 5/14/2014 18:02 PM

Nature Girl--that makes me sooooo sad. I've read your posts, I know you're tough, as we women have to be...but shit, how much can one soul take?

I did not get to have kids...wanted them, but it didn't happen. May be why I was glad to be included in STBX's family? whatever.

One thing I've got a good kid there. Like you didn't already know.

And thanks for the input. Sometimes when I talk about this crazy, I wonder if anyone believes this could happen. So I don't tell anyone what happens, or what he says. I'm not sure anyone will believe. I mean, a large topic of conversation here at SI is Reconciliation. I do not want that. I just want to reconcile myself to the fact that this crazy happened, and it happened to me, so I can heal and move forward.

So, thanks for the validation.

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