I understand...I do. He has betrayed me on every level, but in order for him to present himself as a great guy, he's got to discredit me. The lies are audacious. Is there anything I can do to stop him?
Short of sewing his mouth shut, I can't think of how you can "make him" stop. He appears to be determined to try to build himself up by putting you down. I know it sounds corny, but the truth always prevails. And he will end up looking like the fool when that happens.
I wish I knew of a way to make him stop. I send you hugs! Hang in there!
I'm sorry you have to deal with this additional crap from him. ((((WB))))
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
NIK, you are a real touchstone. I always know you'll respond, and thank you so much, from my heart. You'll never know how much it means to me,through all this crazy.
I have run this through legal, briefly, because I don't have much money now. All options seem to hinge on my willingness to pursue through suits, which I do not have the cash nor the heart to do. One thing the STBX has over me is NO fear of courts (how could he, he thinks if he says or thinks something, it's right...DUH!). It gives him a lot of bravado.
I found out he'd been defaming me to my own parents last summer...6 months prior to DDAy he was telling them I physically abused him...which did not happen. He also believes he'll win in court against the IRS, although they've seized all his accounts. He also thinks I tried to kill him with the tree branch in the front yard, and that I hate his grandchildren, who have curled up with me for storytime innumerable times.
Pretty much dealing with a mentally unhinged person who thinks he does no wrong.
I'm thinking I just need to get Far Far Away. I just cannot wrap my mind around the insanity of it all. I need help with coping.
I dunno...that's hard, and I'm crushed between my own parents and him, there.
There is nothing I can do to stop him. Nothing.
My only choice is to live with honesty & integrity, praying that people who know me will see the truth of my character and the depth of his lies. I am constantly on-guard with my kids, making sure that they know they can ask me about anything. Just a few days ago my son was in tears telling me that Dad was lying about me again. He would not tell me what Dad was saying, but he did say that he got into a screaming match with him to try and force him to stop.
I'm sorry, so sorry, that you're dealing with this. For people this sick, there's no stopping them, so you have to go on living the best life you possibly can.
I did not get to have kids...wanted them, but it didn't happen. May be why I was glad to be included in STBX's family? whatever.
One thing I know...you've got a good kid there. Like you didn't already know.
And thanks for the input. Sometimes when I talk about this crazy, I wonder if anyone believes this could happen. So I don't tell anyone what happens, or what he says. I'm not sure anyone will believe. I mean, a large topic of conversation here at SI is Reconciliation. I do not want that. I just want to reconcile myself to the fact that this crazy happened, and it happened to me, so I can heal and move forward.
So, thanks for the validation.