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Newest Member: timeheals (61501)

User Topic: having trouble
♂ 43433
Member # 43433
Stop  Posted: 5:01 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am new here, and I wish I didn't have to be here at all, but I realize I need to talk somewhere. I am not married, but the girl I have been with for eight years I cheated on. I feel so low... I am not sure how to deal with this.

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2014
♀ 36684
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First welcome to SI!

It's the best club, you never wanted to join.

Take a look at the healing left corner. There is a lot of good stuff there.

Does your GF know that you cheated?

One great place to start is the book How to help your spouse heal from your affair, a compact manual for the unfaithful.

Great book, full of good info and it's a quick read.

Post here, we've got some amazing people who have been right where you are.

FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
♂ 43433
Member # 43433
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.
Yes the BS found out, and I have been trying to fix things. It is really hard, being as honest as she needs me to be, because it is like I am having to relive it all over again, but I will do what I have to to fix it.
I will check out the resources that you mentioned. I am just having a hard time coping with my own bad decisions, and breaking them down to the point that she understands them.
I feel really lost, and I just hope it gets better, because I want to fix this and make it work.

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2014
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, May 14th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey corner - Have you considered individual counseling (IC)? A good counselor can really help you ask yourself the tough questions as to what led you to do what you did.

Keep reading and posting here. Be a 100% open book to your girlfriend. Check out the resources that SurprisinglyOkay mentioned.

Keep at it, be persistent, and you will figure things out, and you will get through this. It takes a lot of work, but you can do it.

Welcome to SI.

Posts: 30659 | Registered: Dec 2010
♂ 43433
Member # 43433
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am doing my best to inform my BS. I made a timeline, and I am trying to not evade the questions she asks me. It is really hard.

We are doing couples counseling. Our counselor is really good, as far as I can tell.

I am hopeful.

Posts: 23 | Registered: May 2014
Topic Posts: 5

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