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I know that my STBX is not unique. I've read probably a thousand stories now here on SI. But when it happens to someone else real close to you, it really hits home how all cheaters say the same shit.
A dear friend of both STBX and mine called upset. Her H is cheating. He told her she was controlling, she is evil, mean, will always hold this shit over his head. How he is just misunderstood. He denies the sex so therefore it wasn't cheating. She is making a big deal out of nothing. She is the one throwing away their wonderful M and blended family and hurting the children because she just can't let shit go. BTW she has undeniable proof A was physical as well.
He only bought his mistress a condo because he was just trying to help the poor drug addict out. You know because he is just that great of a guy!
Unbelievable. Except for the condo and drug addiction, almost all of us heard this shit word for word.
I'm sad for my friend, but I'm glad I can help her find SI immediately. I didn't find SI until 5 months later. I did alright for myself, but I would have done much better if I'd known you guys much sooner!

Holy smokes! Your friend's story could indeed be mine as well. It is very hard to realize there is this Underworld...however, you're right...once discovered, this evil is very predictable. The pain is in wrapping your mind around people that say they love you but do this trite-but-evil crap. There is the work...what to do after you discover the existence of an evil-but-boringly trite Dark Force. That is the pain and the challenge.

Good luck to your friend (I am so sorry for her pain--hugs to her), and best wishes to you!

The Cheater's Standard Book of Spells, Chapter One.

I'm sorry for your friend. I'm glad you could get her here. I have one that is so mentally fucked by her WH that she cannot get out. She can't take action. I fear for her long term mental health. But she refuses to budge. All I can do is be there when the shit gets to much.

He only bought his mistress a condo because he was just trying to help the poor drug addict out. You know because he is just that great of a guy!

This really takes the cake.

My own WS kept "loaning" his LTA slunt cumdumpter money every time he saw her, thinking he was helping her--and she thanked him so prettily by having sex with him. Every. Single. Time.

I said you don't help out someone by giving them money and having the expectation of sex for it. Doesn't that sound like prostitution to you?

It never quite occurred to him that she never had money to pay him back, they always had sex, and she always had a financial crises. All this fed into his being a KISA, thinking he was making a difference in her life. If he had more money, I'm sure he would have seen her more often, or perhaps purchased her a little pied-à-terre.

I am so sorry for your friend, and so glad you can share SI with her!

[This message edited by Hope2B at 2:49 AM, May 15th (Thursday)]