SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I love my job. Its fun, I work from home and im really good at what I do. I'm in a 4 month training program right now that is for a promotion to management. Thing is they are not sure when we will be promoted and if only one position opens I am competing with the 7 other people in the program. i also only get played minimum wage and have to do overtime to get a decent paycheck. I run meetings, I help stand in for my supervisors when I can.... I do more then I should for the same pay. So I applied to another company to do the same thing I am doing for this one but for $3.50 more an hr and they pay for internet and phone service. I was told they'd need me to start training in august. Ok I gave my manager a heads up and told her the only reason I need to leave is because I am just not making enough and no one can tell me if and when I will be promoted. She was sad and is trying to convince me not to go. She told her boss about it who is telling her she doesn't know when a promotion will open up but also that if I am thinking about leaving I should give up my spot in the leadership program....a spot I earned.

Was I silly to be upfront about this possible switch of companies?

Am I wrong to be pissed off that they'd want me to drop out of the program that would make me eligible for the promotion that would make me stay with the company?

XSO thinks it was a dumb move and keeps telling me to stop talking to my manager. I have not told her anything beyond what I've said here though. I thought she was a friend but he is now emphasizing that she is not and I feel like I messed up.

Thoughts?

I could argue both sides of this one.

You have to do what feels right to you.

However, in my 30+ year career, I've discovered that corporations have shown me little to no loyalty. Why should I show them more?

I'd say don't give up anything voluntarily, and now that you know the manager is not your friend, quit volunteering information.

The main thing you need to realize is that managing your career is up to you. Very few corporations will hold your hand and pull you up the management chain; you have to do your own climbing. Some do it through ability, others (most?) do it through back-slapping and back-stabbing.

Sometimes, you climb. Sometimes you need to find a new place to grow.

I wasn't expecting them to handheld me into a promotion. I have worked my ass off for the opportunity. I do way more then I should. For instance we have a daily meeting where we discuss new topics. Our supervisor holds the meeting but most days I do ot. I hold the meeting, take the notes, do attendance and send ours the emails for it all for no extra pay. Because of this coworkers will reach out to me for answers to their issues and most times I can resolve them. Now I just feel stupid and a bit used.

These are from words I received early in my career:

1. Don't tell anyone about an opportunity before you have received a written offer.

2. If you receive a written offer than approach it as I really like my job but this is a great opportunity for me and x promotion is not a guarantee. See what your company can offer.

Whether you take the job or not don't look at what you did for the company that is all true but leave or stay on a positive high note. You never know you may need that company one day or you leave and they realize what they lost and offer you the promotion in a year and about that time in your new role you are at a crossroads.

Do what is best but always try and stay positive. People will remember that and it will also make you feel good about your work.

I would not bring it up again and focus on your job until a written offer comes through.

Was I silly to be upfront about this possible switch of companies? Yes; very.

Am I wrong to be pissed off that they'd want me to drop out of the program that would make me eligible for the promotion that would make me stay with the company? Yes; you set this action in motion.

I'm sure you're a wonderful employee and put in 100% effort most of the time. But if you feel that your manager was your friend, you're not ready for a management position. Your manager is never your friend, and if you become a manager, your staff will not be your friends.

Use this as a learning experience. Pay attention to what TH and fireproof say. You can do this.

Sad I understand what you're saying. I guess the personal calls, calling just to say hi and the fact that she put her job on the line for me when I first started because I couldn't get my numbers where they needed to be is what made me believe otherwise. Perhaps I'm not management material because I believed my supervisor could be a friend. It was a foolish thing to think but I wasn't a complete idiot. I didn't share anything personal past what was necessary if I needed some time off and I keep my personal and work separate. I never thought I'd be a bad manager by trying to keep it friendly with my workers, not friends but friendly. When it comes to work its about work. The leadership training I am doing however may explain a lot of this behavior to me as they make it clear they want your agents to believe you care about them and make a personal connection with each. I just feel stupid now.

As for the written offer im waiting on it. In the mean time i'll keep my mouth shut, do my job and get things done.

Unagie- no need to feel "st..." . I said the advice I was given because I made a similar error. This is how you learn.

It can all be done by being yourself positive and it may still lead to the promotion or some offer from your old company or not.

you are about to get the opportunity to negotiate your new and old position potentially - now is the time to stay positive. Don't think about this anymore but next time you will be more aware. Good luck and keep us posted!