Not only what I did was horrible....damaging to the man I love and want to share my life with, but my ability to remember just WTF happened is beyond me. I get little "snapshots", usually in my sleep, wake up feeling like crap and deciding to overcome the loathe some, feel-bad-about-myself, selfish shit and try to make the day a good one. Major life events recently; loss of his job and transition to move cross country, serious car accident (me), immediately followed by moving then unexpected loss of my job. I'm feeling scared. Sad. Anxious. Worthless. And like a failure in many ways.
I'm BiPolar and take mood stabilizers + anxiety meds. In the "queue" for new psych appt which could take 8-10 weeks, ugh.
We have a teenage son and I am failing him miserably. My husband is unhappy 
thankfully, our girls are living away (college) and don't see the hole we are falling into...
