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CantSeeInTheDark posted 5/15/2014 13:34 PM

I've just found sex photos from today on his laptop of OW. They made me physically sick. He was supposed to be looking after our DS.

I'm freaking out and I need to calm down before he gets home.


tushnurse posted 5/15/2014 13:39 PM


Stop. Take a deep breath. Are they new? Or from prior to Dday? If they are new I would encourage you to have a hefty bag of his necessities on the front stoop, and tell him he needs to find someplace else to spend the night.

Hang in there. You will get through this.

Mercilesslynuked posted 5/15/2014 13:39 PM

I am so sorry for your pain, I don't have any great advice but I am sure those much wiser than I will be along shortly to give support. I just wanted you to know you've been heard and are in our thoughts and prayers.

CantSeeInTheDark posted 5/15/2014 13:40 PM

They are from today when he was looking after DS. Google hangouts; so it was real time.

Junebug0525 posted 5/15/2014 14:09 PM

How long do you have til he's home? Do you want him out of the house? Can you call someone to come over? Just take some deep breaths.

Personally, I'd follow tush's advice and tell him to sleep elsewhere tonight. At least give yourself the night to collect yourself. Or, if you really want to, call him and tell him to just keep driving to a hotel, not to bother coming home. You need the space.

yearsofpain25 posted 5/15/2014 14:41 PM

Hey there CantSeeInTheDark. It's almost 9 over there. What's going on? Can you get him out of the house? Or do you have a place to go with your DS?

tushnurse posted 5/15/2014 14:51 PM

I'm so sorry you had to see that. YUCK!!!
Now I would definitely send him packing. Tonight for sure, forever, eh maybe.

How horribly disrespectful.

....And the Father of the year award goes to....
NOT. Get angry, it will give you strength.

hurting mom posted 5/15/2014 14:59 PM

Take the hard drive or laptop and store it somewhere safe ( friend's house). You may need the evidence in a custody fight. He was having sex while looking after your kid? Neglect.

NeverAgain2013 posted 5/15/2014 15:48 PM

Gross as they are, they are LEVERAGE - and huge leverage at that!!

Get copies of ALL the pictures - including the time stamps on them. The day may very well come when you're going to need a little cooperation from her and there's NOTHING like having the upper hand with pictures she'd rather DIE than have her family and friends see.

Seriously - swallow the tears for 5 minutes and get copies NOW!!!

meplusfour posted 5/15/2014 16:03 PM


I second NeverAgain's advice~preserve the evidence, namely the photos with the time records. You are likely to need this in the future, either as a bargaining chip against your WH and OW. It can be argued that a father who would engage in live sexting whilst caring for his son, is exhibiting poor judgment that should be taken into consideration in any custody or access dispute.

I know it hurts, but set aside your pain for a few minutes so that you can protect yourself and your son.

norabird posted 5/15/2014 16:19 PM


In my opinion, you should kick him out/lock him out and see a lawyer to file tomorrow if you can. You deserve sooooo much better than this shitty treatment! I'm sorry

yearsofpain25 posted 5/15/2014 16:30 PM

I'm worried that CantSeeInTheDark, has gone dark. Something's not right here.

Check in when you can CSITD.

damnUnicorns posted 5/15/2014 16:44 PM

I'm sure the shit is hitting the fan.
Please check in when you can. My heart breaks for you & I'd like to hear back that your are ok.
Huge hugs headed your way.

LeftOutintheCold posted 5/15/2014 16:52 PM

I'm so sorry CantSeeInTheDark!!! I can't imagine how hard that would be to see that. What an idiot he is to do that!!! Keep the evidence but kick him out for a night or two so you can get yourself together and plan how you want to move forward. Keep posting and let us know how things are going!!

CantSeeInTheDark posted 5/15/2014 18:09 PM

Thanks everyone.
He came home just after I posted.

gutfeeling posted 5/15/2014 18:19 PM

What happened?

betrayedpregnant posted 5/15/2014 20:32 PM

i'm so sorry... it's hard to stay calm i know when you want to explode

NeverAgain2013 posted 5/16/2014 08:27 AM

CantSee - please check in. I'm sending good thoughts to you and tons of strength!!

ambush posted 5/16/2014 08:46 AM

I'm sorry. I know exactly what you are going through. Like previous posters have said, back up the photos before he destroys it. I know they are disgusting, but you may need them for evidence.

Stay cool and focus on yourself and your child. Keep checking in and posting.

saveus posted 5/16/2014 09:30 AM

Can't add much but I am very, very sorry... Thinking of you too.

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