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DepressedDaddy posted 5/15/2014 22:50 PM

I just have to say that even though I am so far away from wanting to get back in the dating world, it is nice to feel free in some ways. In the last couple weeks I have found that there have been women that have flirted with me and I didn't feel guilty flirting back. I am not flirting because I am interested in pursuing relationships with these people, it just feels good to have someone that shows interest in me. I was in my relationship with my STBXWW for 16 years, so it has been a long time since I have been in this situation.

It makes me feel like there is hope down the line that being back on the market will give me a different feeling of loss and heartache.

cmego posted 5/16/2014 07:34 AM

HA! Yes, no doubt that being back on the market brings different "feelings". I remember thinking that once I was "ready", it would be easy. Two years dating now, and easy hasn't happened for me.

That, in itself, is another form of loss. When you think dating and a new relationship will be easy since it was so easy the "first time". I expected it to be just as easy the "second time" and it was a shock when that was not the case.

BUT, my quality of dating has become better. I am more relaxed and the quality of men I am meeting are great. I just haven't met someone that clicks along in everything. I am still hopeful, though.

Smashedat58 posted 5/16/2014 09:33 AM

I have had one date since I started my separation, 4 1/2 months ago, I have another coming up this weekend. In my limited experience, I go through this emotional bounce of elation, then worry, and feelings of possible rejection. Maybe, I felt those as a younger person, but I can't remember back that far. I also, still go from calm to mad as hell when in mediation with STBXH. I just hope that I get to a stage where I can handle my overwhelming emotion, and not feel like a teenager, again. If I got some flirts from the opposite sex, I don't think I would necessarily feel this need to put myself out there for dating. I just need some reassurance that I am still desirable.
Be glad for the attention, I say, but be prepared for the emotional bounce.