I mean if he can't totally leave OW alone for the sake of my sanity then there is nothing more to be done.
What I figured out was I don't want to live the other half of my life with memories of the last 5 years. I want my kids and grand baby to see me with out that sad look and unhappiness I have. You know the one where you know it will never be the same again.
I know I tried my hardest to fix this marriage, I sacrificed my respect, my values, morals, all my emotions, being hurt repeatedly for nothing. I waited, I threw fits, I screamed, I shut down, I begged, I pleaded, I cried, I prayed, nothing worked... Why because he doesn't want to change. Actually I don't know if a NPD can.
So, here I am ready to start a life that I don't have to look over my back or to be stabbed in the back. I don't have to feel in competition with a truly evil, immature, nut case, attention getting, most likely bi polar, whore, home wrecker, ugly inside and pretty much out. I don't have to do that anymore. I never had to but that is how I felt.
makes me ill that he lowered his standards so much. Even if he pleads he will never be with her. That doesn't fricking matter. What mattered was keep me safe and protected. What mattered was that you didn't love me enough to stop and go completely NC. You put yourself above me.
Its reality time again... Thank GOD!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
I want my kids and grand baby to see me with out that sad look and unhappiness I have. You know the one where you know it will never be the same again.
This is a great start, and is the same reason why I left. I would prefer my boys learned how to be a strong, confident single man, than continue to learn how to be a sad, depressed, trodden husband.
Over time, I realized that while this was a VERY important reason, I also had to realize that I deserve not to be sad, depressed, trodden upon.
You and I (and all the other betrayeds here) deserve to be happy, strong, confident, and RESPECTED. Your husband lowered his standards, and now you've raised yours. Neither one of you meet the others' standards anymore.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
But everyone always wondered why you were with that loser. You're way out of his league
The kids was a big reason I left too. People stay for the kids, but man, the kids and I are having the best time. It's clean, and it's party time! I bought some strawberry shortcake ingredients for when they get home
So, uh, more about the condo???
Butterfly, here is the only known case where a cure for NPD was found: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r03L0NsFmiM
Yes, I tried to stay for the kids but after awhile you finally understand that you are doing more harm than good for them when you are with a wh that is not truly R. They should not have to see that. No one should.
I want my kids to be proud of me. I want them to know that this is not the type of marriage I would want for them and that it is not the way a marriage should be. My kids are older but still, to see your mom with that sad look in her eyes, or the crying. I think they miss the mom that has spirit in her eyes, that fun loving mom who always had a smile.
I remember when I first starting working here (same time as A started) some of our therapist always said "it is so refreshing to see someone smile.. it makes my day to see you, always light hearted and smiling"... I kept that up after I found out but in my office tears flowed a lot. I want to be that person again without faking it.
I will let you all know how the condo goes.
Pass - we all deserve what you said... 100%
Vaulted ceilings, fireplace, deck, washer and dryer, microwave, ect. I am so excited to see it today.
"And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."
- Sarah McMane
Sit back and enjoy; but put the cork back on tightly on the champagne because you'll need it when Karma comes a'visitin'
You are the best NG
And I want a fireplace and a deck FWL! Jealous!
[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 1:05 PM, May 17th (Saturday)]
Back to the thread, FWL I hope the condo is everything you envisioned for your New Beginning
I'm gonna try to get Nik here....( Nik is a female he has been trolling after)
It's so scary that this is who he is....
He can have all the women but not this one anymore. I'm to good for this!
Found out....ow still texting..
And just hooooow did you find this out? C'mon girl, you got better things to do than worry about what he's doing.. Pretend he's some shitty ass roommate you always ignore since he's such a FuckTard..
Just keep scraping him off the bottom of your shoe. You'll get it all off soon
I had a mild heart attack for a second there too NIK