I understand completely. When ds15 was in 6th grade (1st year middle school), his bus route included middle and high school. The middle schoolers were supposed to be kept separated from the high schoolers.
One evening, I noticed ds wincing when something touched his chest. I asked him what happened and he told me there was a tenth grader who had been giving him a "hard time." I asked him to pull his shirt up and was horrified and shocked to see multiple bruises. This kid who was almost 5 years older and outweighed my child by 50 lbs, had been "titty twisting" my son. I was LIVID. I wanted to call the police but JM wanted to give the school an opportunity to handle it. When I asked the middle school principal what was being done, he tried to tell me the other boy's discipline was confidential.
Oh, hell no, he did not just say that.
So I called the high school assistant principal, who had been there with my older son and was a great educator and leader. I asked if he was handling the bus incident involving the tenth grader and he said he was. I asked if he realized the other child involved was C's brother. (They have different last names) He said he hadn't realized it, and promised they would handle it. I said, "I realize you can't really give me any info because of confidentiality, which, by the way is BS. But you can listen to me and you can relay a message to that boy and his parents. I want you to tell them that the only reason I didn't call the police and file assault charges is because my husband overruled me. But if that kid lays a hand or any other body part on my child, or if he even looks at him wrong, I will call the police first and THEN notify you. Are we clear?"
He said he understood and would feel the same way if it was his child.
And he ended up telling me that the kid was permanently barred from riding the school bus. He ended up dropping out later that year. DS has not had any other problems since. And I promise I would have no problem following through with filing charges against that kid or any other kid who attacks or assaults my kid.
I know there is a time and place to let our kids grow up and handle things but when it comes to bullying I have ZERO tolerance.