BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
May 15th was 5 years since he walked. We were legally sep by August, then the divorce done a year later at Christmas (3 1/2 years).
I thought by this point life would be good. In many ways it is. Have had ups and downs with the kids, but right now, the 3 of us are in a good space. Getting DS ready to go to college in the fall, school almost done for the year, DD had a pretty good start to HS and we are dealing more or less ok with her panic issues.
I'm 5 years out, house poor, lonely. Housing wise I would do the same thing again, because the alternative would have been homelessness, or having my kids go to a school that I KNOW would have taken my DD down a different path. Not an option.
So, here I sit. Life isn't bad, but it isn't good. I struggle money wise. XH pays his CS, but has more or less given up all his visitation, and is verrrryyy slow paying for any of the extras. I don't even ask him for half of them anymore because it just isn't worth it. The kids, DD especially, just assume they can't do the expensive stuff, the smaller stuff, I just pay so they can go without listening to him whine.
I'm broke. I try meetup groups, but have only found one group close to home to spend time with, and although they are a lovely group of women, most times they are meeting up for dinners and such which I just can't afford to do too often.
I spend my time trying to make extra cash and trying to declutter my house, which is an endless battle. I can't sell until I do, I can't afford to fix the things I need to fix around here. I know moving would help; Going to take me forever to get to show ready, and I know I'm going to "lose" money because the house needs so many updates/fixes. I doubt I'll be able to put it on the market before DD finishes high school, 3 years. My money situation will be worse by that point probably.
I don't know. I'm ok. I'm glad I D him, I see so many things now that I refused to acknowledge before. I just keep waiting for things to get better in my new life. I keep trying to "get out there", "do things", "make things happen." Well, I did, and nothing happened.
I'm not really down, I'm just starting to think that maybe I'm just meant to sit alone after the kids are gone. Few real friends, no relationship, I just don't see how to change it anymore. I thought by this point, I'd "have it all" again. Guess I was wrong.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.