BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
So make it a little less comfy for him. Tell your lawyer you need temp orders NOW. Make it so he doesn't just get to come and go as he pleases. Tell him to pick two nights a week and one weekend day/night that HE is in charge of the kids/dinner/etc. Then GO OUT. Even if it's just to walk around the park, make it so you aren't there to do everything while he gets to just go have fun.
If you are doing his laundry or anything, stop it. Tell him he needs to do xyz chores around the house, you are not his maid.
Also, as I told mine, he CAN NOT talk about his whore freely around you and the kids. It is YOUR HOUSE too, and you do NOT allow trash in your house, even in words. (When doing in-house I got to a point that I stormed into his room and told him he was no longer allowed to skype with his whore while in my house, around my kids, 10 feet from them and I. That whores were not allowed in my house and if he wanted to skype with her, he could go elsewhere, we were not going to be subjected to him putting her before his kids. She was on the computer at the time and heard me; I called her every name in the book. Yeah yeah, not good 180, but I exploded. He moved out within a few weeks.)
Doesn't matter if he doesn't want to agree on things; he doesn't get to just have a perfect care-free life while you and the kids suffer around him.
As far as the panties go? I'd let him know that I knew about them, and the fact that he's letting his crazy ho's know where you live is a danger to you and the kids. That next time he gets a delivery of that sort you will call the police to hunt down the person and get and RO against her, and him. Ass.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.