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Newest Member: Confused4 (61103)

User Topic: Why TT??
♀ 43374
Member # 43374
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When a WS gets caught, I don't understand the need to trickle truth.
Just causes more pain and agony. Such gut, wrenching pain.

Me = BS, 38
Him = WH, 43
2 beautiful boys.
Married since 2001, together since 1998.
Dday = Feb 20, 2014.

It's just not that simple.

Posts: 165 | Registered: May 2014 | From: West Coast
♀ 42354
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, May 17th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TT, every BS's nightmare...

The WS will say that it is to save the BS from more pain.

The truth is that they do it to save their own arses. It's still all about them.

Me- BS 44
Him- FWH 44
Married 20 years, Together 27
Kids- 24,23,16,15
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 333 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What AllorNothing said x 100. It is still all about them; they don't get it yet. They might say and might even think that they are saving pain, but they are also and mostly saving their own ass! They don't want to admit more than they have to. It is selfishness - plain and simple!

Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2185 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:03 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agreed. Selfishness. They don't want you to know, because they will have to face up to how much of an ass they are being. And they think you won't find it all.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
♂ 41947
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When someone is caught, no matter male or female, the first response is to confess is little as possible as to try to minimize the damage. Then when they get a chance to breathe, if that happens, they evaluate in most cases how they can repair what they have done or cake eat and have both.
Obviously, the more tech savvy the BS is, the harder it is to withhold since social media is used to communicate nowadays.
There are probably some instances, where the TT is actually meant with good intentions, but I'd say like others it is mostly selfish self preservation mode not specific to either sex

Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
♂ 43237
Member # 43237
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Basically we are cowards in a panic, and when cowards are panicking their instinct is to lie, or at least only say as much truth as they absolutely have to. You can tell them a hundred times that it will be better for them (not their spouses, them) if they just say everything, but they still won't get it because they're frantic, and when you're frantic you just follow your instincts, rather than logic or even emotion.
I only volunteered the whole truth after three months of TT. And my wife could tell when it was all out. People just sense these things.

Posts: 43 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 6

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