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Newest Member: Netflixandstuff (61822)

User Topic: A relative is dying
♀ 42852
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 1:43 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fathers first cousin - the father of 5 kids- is on his deathbed. This man is the youngest (now aged 79) of three brothers who toughed it out on a farm in Indiana raising 5 wonderful kids who according to his wife don't really "get" that their father is within days of dying. His wife - their mother- has been so strong but is crumbling. What kind of help csn you give someone in this situation? She has been married to this man for at least 52 years. My father - his cousin and a "brother" to him is deeply saddened and feeling his own mortality. What does one say for comfort? I am 47 on Friday and have been living my own life's nightmare. How do I help these people in my family?

Me 48
Divorced 2010

1."'FOREVER' in love" lasts only 14 years.
2. Alcohol is NO solution just a bigger problem

My favorite drink is water. Call me Dasani23

Posts: 3212 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
♀ 31528
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Guinness & family)))

I'm so sorry. Do you live nearby that you could give hugs, bring a meal, spend time with them? Sending strength.

Posts: 50936 | Registered: Mar 2011
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bringing food or sending a gift card to a local restaurant if you don't live near by. Listening. Reaching out. Simply being there with the will to help is always appreciated. ((((Guinness)))

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Guinness and family))))

Best advice I can give is to show up (whether in person or with regular phone calls) and listen. When my father's brother died, it hit him in a way that changed him. He became very aware of his mortality. For a while it manifested as depression, but it eventually turned into a drive to live for the day and enjoy each day as fully as he could. He also became semi obsessed with family history. He gathered stories and pictures to ensure his brother's life(and his own) would be recorded and remembered.

Don't know if any of this helps. Sending you strength.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40250 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending strength to you and your family Guinness.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 6708 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 5

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