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A relative is dying

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Guinness23 posted 5/18/2014 01:43 AM

My fathers first cousin - the father of 5 kids- is on his deathbed. This man is the youngest (now aged 79) of three brothers who toughed it out on a farm in Indiana raising 5 wonderful kids who according to his wife don't really "get" that their father is within days of dying. His wife - their mother- has been so strong but is crumbling. What kind of help csn you give someone in this situation? She has been married to this man for at least 52 years. My father - his cousin and a "brother" to him is deeply saddened and feeling his own mortality. What does one say for comfort? I am 47 on Friday and have been living my own life's nightmare. How do I help these people in my family?

jo2love posted 5/18/2014 06:53 AM

(((Guinness & family)))

I'm so sorry. Do you live nearby that you could give hugs, bring a meal, spend time with them? Sending strength.

norabird posted 5/18/2014 10:14 AM

Bringing food or sending a gift card to a local restaurant if you don't live near by. Listening. Reaching out. Simply being there with the will to help is always appreciated. ((((Guinness)))

nowiknow23 posted 5/18/2014 10:46 AM

((((Guinness and family))))

Best advice I can give is to show up (whether in person or with regular phone calls) and listen. When my father's brother died, it hit him in a way that changed him. He became very aware of his mortality. For a while it manifested as depression, but it eventually turned into a drive to live for the day and enjoy each day as fully as he could. He also became semi obsessed with family history. He gathered stories and pictures to ensure his brother's life(and his own) would be recorded and remembered.

Don't know if any of this helps. Sending you strength.

Kajem posted 5/19/2014 12:31 PM

Sending strength to you and your family Guinness.

K

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