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Strangely made things easier

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 hopelesslydvoted (original poster new member #42573) posted at 7:50 AM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

Quick back story, WH serial cheater, thought we were in R, Turns out he told me he's in love with OW. R was False. It's been a week since and still in the same house.

My saddest thought is he will never regret us ending, (this is a man who regrets throwing out a pair of shoes)he's staying out all night, and is trying to look his best, etc.

Ok so today, my computer was acting slow. I ran all the anti-whatevers and cleaned it up. I came to find one of his "dating" sites in the history. Strangely this made me feel a little better knowing that he is still the same. Not a better man who's going to change for her. Now, it's not that I didn't know this, but to see it helped.

posts: 46   ·   registered: Feb. 24th, 2014
id 6803768
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 11:14 AM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how much it hurts. What are you going to do? (((Hugs)))

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6803796
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NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 11:20 AM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

What's that you say? He's cheating on his "soul mate?"

Here's my recommendation.

Pull up a front row seat so you can see the eventual train wreck. Make sure you have a tub of popcorn and a 72 oz bladder buster soft drink. Sit back, get comfortable and watch the eventual explosion. It's coming, trust me.

This guy is such a cliché.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

posts: 6327   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: USA
id 6803797
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 hopelesslydvoted (original poster new member #42573) posted at 8:03 PM on Sunday, May 18th, 2014

NeverAgain2013

He wants to talk today...

posts: 46   ·   registered: Feb. 24th, 2014
id 6804142
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 8:15 AM on Monday, May 19th, 2014

I'm sorry HD...I can see where you would get some type of satisfaction knowing, he's not becoming a better man for her either, just sucks though.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6804603
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kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 8:25 AM on Monday, May 19th, 2014

I know EXACTLY what you mean. My husband had a long term affair. (Only time he cheated as far as I know) But during the time when I told him he had to be honest or I was leaving, he told me he screwed two other women when he was in the middle of the affair. He thought I would come unglued, but strangely, it did make things better.

I was SO happy he cheated on her. He said when she found out, she was upset and told him she was shocked that he would do that. I laughed out loud!!

Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

posts: 1415   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2011   ·   location: Kansas
id 6804606
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Ostrich80 ( member #34827) posted at 7:48 AM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

T/j

I seriously considered telling.ow she was one of many just to make her feel as shitty as I but.I chickened out.

BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

posts: 5738   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6806065
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imaf ( member #30916) posted at 2:18 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

My xwso did the same as soon as he got went back to her he logged on to dating sites. I found out because he still hadnt changed his email password when I last had a gossip. He si now married and has a child but still tries to contact me. The latter doesnt make me feel any better. But the former does! I guess a cheater is alwsys a cheater!

Left him because I didn´t like his other girlfriend.

posts: 144   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2011
id 6806240
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imaf ( member #30916) posted at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

And of course he isnt going to change for her. He has probably just chosen her because she is the easy option. Remember cheaters are cowards. And staying with you would mean working on his shit and suffering the consequences of his actions.

I know how much it hurts ((((((((hugs))))))).

Left him because I didn´t like his other girlfriend.

posts: 144   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2011
id 6806316
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BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 3:53 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

I'm so sorry you are finding out R was false. I am hopeful for you because you know the truth now and can make the right decisions for yourself. Lots of hugs!

Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010

posts: 5437   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2014   ·   location: United States
id 6806368
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 hopelesslydvoted (original poster new member #42573) posted at 1:41 AM on Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

Thanks for the hugs y'all! I need them.

T/j I seriously considered telling.ow she was one of many just to make her feel as shitty as I but.I chickened out.

I don't think you chickened out, I think you have standards not to stoop to her level. Trust me i thought about it too. I thought about telling her H. because he has the right to know, but I just haven't felt like bringing myself into that bullsh*t drama, that these two pillars of society have brought on to my life.

They will destroy themselves and all that surrounds them. I will not be around to see the aftermath of it.

posts: 46   ·   registered: Feb. 24th, 2014
id 6808528
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