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Newest Member: betrayedinil (61145)

User Topic: Just started the process
♂ 34131
Member # 34131
Default  Posted: 2:24 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, last Friday I decided to sign the Lawyers contract and pay the retainer, it's time to get this circus on the road and moving forward.

DDay#1 was 3 years, 4 months and 9 days ago, but who's counting.

I tried to stay because of the kids, but her remorse just doesn't cut it, and now her drinking habits are really becoming an issue.

My kids, who I was trying to stay for, finally told me that it was time to give up. That is an eye opener, when your DD15 and DS12, who you are doing this for, tells you its time to go.

The kids said they don't want to live with her, so I guess its up to me to sole parent them. She does want joint custody, but not sure if she is capable.

I travel for a living, so I have a tough choice to make. Do I change jobs and stay close to home at reduced pay, or do I hire a nanny to help while I'm gone?

And, my lawyers said she was in for a rude awakening.

The house I bought right before we married, its mine because I purchases it prior.

No alimony in Texas, but spousal support probably wont happen. Although she stayed at home with the kids, she has a higher degree from the University, and has been capable of work.

Split assets? She has a problem there too, as Texas is an "at fault" state, infidelity being one cause. And since she involved the kids with the OM, she might suffer big time if we draw the right judge.

I was going to be pleasant about this whole thing, but every night that she drinks pisses me off. Every time she tells me she is a grown woman and can make her own decisions and doesn't have to listed to me, I get pissed. And every time she follows it up with "If you don't like it, you can just go fuck yourself" just makes my blood boil.

And the next morning, she's off to her job at.....Wait for it....

Working as the Church Secretary.

Anyone have any advice, I would appreciate it.


Me, BS-57
DD, 1/9/2011
Filed for divorce 6/14
Divorce final 7/2015
Free at last, Free at last, Thank God Almighty I'm free at last!

Posts: 232 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: United States
♀ 38372
Member # 38372
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any advice as I'm just starting the process as well. My first Dday was about 3 yeas ago also. Kudos to us for finally putting an end to this crap.

Me: BW (31)
Him: WH (32)
2 DDs - 4yrs & 2yrs (as of Oct 2014)

multiple PAs

Filed for divorce May 16, 2014
1st court hearing October 23, 2014 (rescheduled :/)
divorce final November 20, 2014

Posts: 157 | Registered: Feb 2013
♂ 42858
Member # 42858
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fire96: I am sorry for your situation. I believe you have done everything you could to ensure your children remained in a stable home. The truth is , when your kids are saying to get out it is worse than you think. I know you have some difficult roads ahead and the fighting will get crazy as you work through the process. However, you are the one trying to do the rigth things for your children and self in the long run. You appear to be M to an alcolholic and an emotionally abusive one at that. Hopefully the D will be a wake-up and she can finally reach out for support (AA).

My advise is to decide what you feel is best for you and your children. If working closer to home is the best call then do it. zMoney is a weird thing...You need it, it's nice but it will never buy happiness or peace in your mind. I don;t know what you do but explore your options. Can you travel less? Even for a short period of time (a couple years) to get settled in your new life? Decide what you know is best then map your plan.

I am a couple months into D and it has been fairly amicable but harder times are ahead. I will be thinking and praying for you and your kids brother. And your WW since I believe she is sick

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

Posts: 700 | Registered: Mar 2014
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, May 18th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're WW is a grown woman and can make her own decisions, and money, and house payments etc. I say take her to the cleaners, but I'm going through my 'angry phase' right now. Good luck.

One day
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 4

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