I kicked him out. He's staying at his moms. We have 3 kids, ages 6, 4, and 11 months.
Tonight we are supposed to work out the details of the separation. He is going to want to see the kids every day. I feel like I shouldn't have to see him everyday. I want to give him weekends which is when I work. I was thinking of weaning both him and the kids, eliminating one weekday each week and adding time to the weekends. The problem with full weekends is that the baby is still breadtfed and does not take a bottle. He has dietary restrictions and breastmilk is his primary form of nutrition.
Is it reasonable for me to enforce a separation with these terms. He would eventually get Friday evening until Monday morning.
He's sleeping in my nieces room. There will really be no place for the kids.
Back history: Problems for years with arguing. Lots of arguments over drinking and driving (he's in the wine business). He had an affair in September that started when he was drunk at a party and he fingered her and stayed at her house, and it lasted 25 days. He quit drinking recently for 6.5 weeks, and then it started again with full force, him not coming home at night, texts with a "profession friend" that I told him not to continue with but he tried deleting.
I think he needs to hit rock bottom in order to change. Wouldn't Rick bottom include losing his kids half the week?
I will note that I'm no angel, and have been physically aggressive 2 times after I myself had been drinking and was not properly medicated for bipolarism(3 years ago and 3 months ago). I, however, have quit drinking and am effectively taking medication. I would never hurt my kids, and they have never even been spanked.