I agree that contact with her is a bad idea.
Unfortunately I made a mistake! I should have checked back here before I plunged in sometime after my original post to this discussion to see the responses.
Yesterday when she was trying to contact me - I had the power. Yesterday she had sent me two e-mails / phoned me fifteen times - leaving three messages / and left numerous Facebook messages.
I stupidly left word on Facebook later this morning I was willing to communicate with her. She responded approximately 45 minutes later. She said she did not expect to hear from me ever again after I did not respond all day yesterday. I said I had not expected to communicate with her again.
I told her I would rather communicate over the phone and she phoned me since where she is staying has a better telephone long-distance plan.
Needless to say - I lost the power. I have been feeling like crap ever since. I knew it was a bad idea as I logged-in to Facebook - but there was no talking myself out of it.
We spoke of those things she thought was important for us to discuss. I mentioned a few things of my own. She said she would have to think about what I had suggested for us. Now I have placed myself on the receiving end of whenever she decides to communicate with me via e-mail.
Many times a day as I try to cope with the feelings inside of me - the realization hits me "that this is real" - that I have essentially lost "The Love Of My Life". There is no candy coating I can place over everything to make it all seem alright - even for a split moment.
Maybe strength will come in time - but it is not anywhere near me yet.
Thank you all for your replies - wish I had read them first before I made the mistake.