SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Since DS has been talking about daddy's new special friend last week he has been referring to me by my name and not mummy.

Earlier I jokingly asked him why he was calling me by my name and not mummy and he said that his daddy told him to do so. He got very upset.

This really freaked me out and I hope DS has got his wires crossed.

DS seems to really like ex's latest soulmate and that is my only concern.

I texted ex to ask him about this and he says that he didn't say that.

My other concern is that this new woman is co-sleeping with my 2 year old DD as she co-sleeps with me at mine and with her dad at his

Thoughts?

[This message edited by dindy at 1:49 PM, May 18th (Sunday)]

I am not sure if your ex has a live-in friend or not, but regardless I do not think it is appropriate for a kid to sleep in a bed with "daddy's new friend." To me, that is a hard line. If the child needs to sleep with Daddy when he is at his house, then his "friend" needs to sleep in the other room. If your ex gives you any crap about it, say that you will be doing the same thing at your house because it is what's best for the child.

Just my $.02. Good luck and sorry you are having to deal with that level of crap. You don't deserve it!

What does parent alienation and emotional damage to a child look like in the uk?
I know that in my state, family courts are beginning to take a closer look at this type of stuff but it takes ALOT of careful groundwork.
It's just fucked up...poor DS and DD.

That is all kinds of fucked up and I would not tolerate it.

I would sweetly inform my child that I am the only person in the world who has the honor of being their mother, and that is how I want to be named. Mom. Mommy. I waited all my life for a baby, I won't have that child call me by any other name!

I would also let my child know that Daddy doesn't get to decide my name. I do. Silly Daddy!

And then I would go batshit crazy about another woman taking my child to bed with her. I co-slept with my children, but I am their mother. No other woman had better be taking my children to bed & sleeping with them! I would exercise every legal channel I could find to prevent this from happening!

As your DD is 2, you have a health visitor. Raise your concerns with him/her about this non-related sexual partner co-sleeping with your young child. Do this before contacting your Ex.

Also, in the UK it's not considered safe to co-sleep with your children if you're a smoker, taking sleeping pills & other strong medication or have been drinking alcohol...would any of that apply here?

Thanks for your replies.

I did contact ex about this and he swears he didn't say anything and that this woman is just a friend who sleeps on his floor.

Yeah fucking right!

I know how bad his boundaries are with women. Heck, I've experienced them first-hand during our 8.5 year relationship.

There is no way that suddenly a friend whom he hasn't seen in over 10 years and lives in another city is just helping out. If that's the case then why is she sleeping over? It only takes an hour by train for her to go to her own home.

Ex just needs to look at this from DS' point of view. Daddys' special friend who he has only met twice is suddenly sleeping over. To DS, a family is mummy, daddy and his sister. And this is sending out so many mixed messages to him when he is already confused from so much change this last year.

Ex did say that he wouldn't have her stay over again if it was causing problems. Which is a sure enough statement to me that they are more than just friends.

Whatever!

I just want a little drama as possible for my children.

Ex doesn't contact mutual friends of ours who have children so why only contact another single woman? He just can't help but let verbal diarrhea (sp?) spew out of his mouth. And he just keeps lying to everyone. What a great role model he is to my children. And as usual I'm left picking up the pieces.

Softcentre, my DD and I have pretty much been co-sleeping from birth. We share a double bed and DS' bed is alongside mine. I have researched a lot about co-sleeping and we do co-sleep safely. Thank you for your concern.

Maybe it's something your ds has associated by Daddy's new 'friend'. Maybe anyone that sleeps in Daddy's bed is known as "firstname"?

I hope it's not a manipulation by your ex.

My youngest DS went through a stage where he was calling Ex (his father) by his first name around the age of 2-3. He even asked me will he have a new daddy one day. In hindsight now I wonder what he saw perhaps his father with one of the multiple OW.

Softcentre, my DD and I have pretty much been co-sleeping from birth. We share a double bed and DS' bed is alongside mine. I have researched a lot about co-sleeping and we do co-sleep safely. Thank you for your concern.

I'm in favour of co-sleeping My comments were directed to his 'friend' and whether she's safe for co-sleeping.