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The thing that I am starting to realize is how I cannot seem to focus on anything else in life without the halo of the A. Everything is tinted by that prizm. Instead of enjoying the good things in my life, my kids, work, etc., I find myself constantly thinking about the A. It and the underlying stress of it is always there with me. After 10 months, I am just exhausted. I know that it takes time, but is this normal or do I need serious help? Just my thoughts this morning as I try to focus on work.

I think it's normal... EVERYTHING is tainted... Good memories...

On Thursday, I was looking back over pictures for #TBT (throwback thursday on Facebook and Instagram) and saw that his first email to the whore, was while the kids and I were home... it was the day, we had a pool party to celebrate the first day of summer vacation... and he refused to participate... just locked himself up in the office. He even refused to help me with opening the pool. "You want the pool, then you take care of it. I don't even care." Now... I don't even want to open the pool this year...