SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

anothermoron posted 5/19/2014 15:32 PM

I have to go to an evening event and want to offer my wife some way to know that's where I am. Any suggestions on a tracker of some kind?
Also, my wife is going to feel psycho tracking me. It doesnt fit with her self image of who she wants to be. How can I help her do this without her feeling bad about it?

Aubrie posted 5/19/2014 15:40 PM

Text her pictures of when you arrive, when you walk in the door, and when you leave. Go on bathroom breaks and text/call her from there.

Pick out a tracker together. Or install one yourself then give her all the info needed to follow you. (Proactive approach)

Take her with you. Is this an event she could tag along on?

Matilda23 posted 5/19/2014 22:28 PM

^^^^^

I completely agree with her. What also helps is finding something like a clock or the time on it so when i take the photo I have a time stamp. BBF and I have an iPhone so we did the findmyfriend app and couples app. The couples app is neat because you can text one another and send each other locations. I turned my gps tracking on my phone to stay open at all times. Hope this was helpful.

oldtimer97 posted 5/19/2014 22:51 PM

If you have gmail (if not make an account) for free you can use Google's location history and/or device manager.

https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/4388034?hl=en

https://maps.google.com/locationhistory

https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/3265955?hl=en

https://www.google.com/android/devicemanager

Location history gives you ongoing history, you just need to refresh the page to get a new location. For the most part it's pretty reliable & seems to get a satellite refresh no more than 5 minutes later.

Device manager is a one time shot, tho you can keep it going with refreshing the page. Because this is the big boy that will find your lost phone, ring the phone to be found, lock the phone or wipe the history...for whatever reason it's GPS is much more accurate and timely.

Good luck and thanks for wanting to put your wife at ease

ETA: I forgot to add: Because the location history isn't an automatic minute to minute history, if you haven't received an update for awhile, you are better off then confirming the loc with the device manager. May and October are notorious months for sunspot activity which messes with satellite communications. As a for instance, all was going this well this am until approx 7:07...it's now 7:48 and no new location. When I go to check, say a couple of hours from now all those timestamps & locs should be there, it just seems like a product Google doesn't give as much priority to.

If I was really, really worried about it, there are sites out there that give you times on solar flares, etc....but nah, the device manager is working just fine thank goodness.

[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 9:52 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]

theseseatsRtaken posted 5/19/2014 23:58 PM

BW and I are using an app called life360. Install on both phones. Free version lets you view partner location, request check ins, chat, receive alerts when partner arrives/leaves a specific location, track gps ping history for the day and a few other functions. We have found it really useful and very reliable.

Hope you find something!

theseseatsRtaken posted 5/20/2014 00:26 AM

Duplicate sorry.

[This message edited by theseseatsRtaken at 12:29 AM, May 20th (Tuesday)]

confused615 posted 5/20/2014 05:23 AM

She shouldn't feel bad. Right now it's all about protecting her and helping her feel secure after her world's been blown apart. This "trust but verify" stuff doesn't have to last forever...if you do everything right...she will feel more secure and will ease out of this stage a lot faster.

Carry a VAR in your pocket in addition to the pics.

anothermoron posted 5/20/2014 05:57 AM

thanks all, much appreciated

annb posted 5/20/2014 06:04 AM

Check in with her several times during the event. Your wife must be feeling extremely unsafe at this point. I cannot imagine the fear she will be feeling when you are there without her. Is it possible for her to attend with you? My WH did not attend any events after D-Day, I would have been a freaking mess.

Aside from the tracker, please check in with her every 1/2 hour or so. Tell her who you are with and what you are doing. Let her know when you are leaving as well. Do not consume alcohol!

She should not feel bad about it. Infidelity changes who we are, before the A I couldn't ever imagine checking my WH's phone, cell records, emails, etc., or not allowing him to travel and attend work events. Hypervigilance and fear sets in. That's where she is at right now.

Good luck!

sorrowfulmate posted 5/20/2014 12:04 PM

One of my issues is AA meetings. I can't use a VAR there because of their traditions. But what I do is get someone's phone number while there and put it in my phone.

This morning I went to the post office to mail a package. I think she was uneasy with this because I used to mail gifts to my APs. I scanned the reciept which showed where I was mailing the package and the company that I was mailing it to. Along with their website.

I did this without being asked because I want to do this.

Alyssamd24 posted 5/20/2014 17:04 PM

We also use the app life360