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Newest Member: Frank230 (61461)

User Topic: Confront WH friend???
♀ 43417
Member # 43417
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if I should talk with WH best friend. not sure where his loyalties would be. Not sure if he knows what WH has been up to. WH could be using friend as his excuse to "go out for a few drinks". DDay was over a month ago. Secret email, adult websites. Anonymous encounters????? Just looking for answers. Trickle truth. Has anyone had experience with this. Is there another forum I should go to??.

DDay 4/4/14
Me - BS (40)
WH - (41)
Married 11 yrs.
Two boys 8 and 10 yrs.

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great

Posts: 18 | Registered: May 2014
♂ 40879
Member # 40879
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, May 19th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My FWW had a girlfriend who she confided in during her EA & PA. I found texts between them after Dday and learned that her friend had actually supported my wife and told her that she needed to do whatever "made her happy". And the friend actually provided encouragement to carry out the A and expressed the idea that she could have an A as well. I felt betrayed by her as well as by my wife. IMO, you are either a friend of the marriage or not. She had to go. I confronted her via email and told her exactly what I thought of her. She doesn't speak to either of is now and I'm glad.

Posts: 657 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:26 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you asked your WH if his buddy knew about the affair?

And, am I reading this correctly? You're dday was a month ago? And your WH is going out "for a few drinks" with his buddies??

Um...NO. He shouldn't be going out anywhere right now and leaving you at home. He should be home helping you heal and working though his affair with you.

It's ok to tell him you are uncomfortable with him going out for awhile. If he is remorseful, then he will stay home.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 5:39 AM, May 20th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my WW's friends knew about "the" affair (none of them knew about the "other" affairs or the sexting, etc - my wife lied to everyone at every turn to compartmentalize, hide, and justify herself). one of actively enabled it, two others went along with it, and another pretended not to see it.

id be surprised if hes not at least aware of it.

but in either case no way should he be "going out for drinks" with a buddy this soon after d-day. he should be worried about making you feel safe and repairing the damage he has done. if hes got time for drinks out then he has time to stay home and work on himself and the relationship.

me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys

Posts: 1811 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 4

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