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I've realized that I need to go back on my AD's. I was taken off of them about a year ago. The doctor thought they might be causing an allergic reaction. However, the reaction itself has attempted to return a time or two since then so I don't think the AD was the cause. However, I was doing quite well for a months without them so I saw no reason to try to go back on them.

Today is a different story. I'm moving into my own place where I'll live by myself for the first time in my life. I just started a new job. I'm trying to write my first novel. These are all areas of my life where I'm growing, reclaiming my life for myself. However, it leaves me with feelings of anxiety and depressed. That was part of how I realized some years ago that something was wrong. My IC has been supportive of me not jumping back on AD's without good reason and even she feels it worth doing...at least for a period time until I get through this period where I'm going so many changes at once. The hardest part back then was admitting to myself and others. I almost fell into the trap of feeling like it was a failure of some kind that I need to use AD's again. It's not. It's just a fact of my nature. I will be challenged with this from time to time. Not pleasant to accept but I do.

For anyone else struggling with those feelings all I can say take whatever help you need in whatever form you can. IC, AD's, hobbies, posting here, etc. We should all be good to ourselves.

Good move. I hope they help you as needed.

Thanks thyme2go
I hope so too.

I also just went back on ADs. I had been off them since last fall. I had been doing great following the divorce, the move into a new home, and my adjustment to life after divorce. MOstly this was due to being in a relationship with a man I had strong feelings for and made me happy. That relationship ended last month due to him deciding to reconcile with his ex. I have been on the floor. All the stuff I didn't deal with from the divorce came crashing down on me. So back on ADs I go in the hopes they help me with the daily weeping, anxiety, sleep problems, and over all feelings of sadness. I know time is my best friend right now too, but clearly more help is needed. Hope we both get the boost we need to move forward.

I'm so glad you aren't trying to white-knuckle through out of a belief that weakness is a type of failure. Cheers to that and good luck continuing to settle into your new place.

getnbtr1,
So sorry to hear that. I was also in a relationship after my D. I developed very deep feelings for her. Very deep. That was hard when she chose to end it. It still is actually.
norabird,
Thank you so much for the support.

Good for you for remaining self-aware enough to recognize your feelings! Seeking help when needed isn't weak, rather, IMHO it takes a very strong person to take stock, see a need, and then work on addressing that need (instead of ostriching or rugsweeping, etc).

You have a lot going on, but you should be proud of yourself for your accomplishments.

(((Brandon)))

Thanks abby

Exercise helps too