1. No custody issues: He wants visitation but has fucked up his relationship with our two children so that will happen under the guidance of each child's therapist. I don't expect any surprise custody issues.
You are probably right on this.
2. Child Support: I'm assuming once the divorce is granted, the child support agency will garnish his paycheck. Due to children's needs, CS will continue until 21. That will give me enough time to look into SSI or other options for DD18.
Many states won't garnish automatically. I would ask for it based on his history of non-payment that you addressed below
3. Health Insurance: His position statement says he will cover them under his plan until 26.
4. Uncovered medical expenses: Stbx stopped paying for his half over a year ago and currently owes me over $1,200. Will the judge order him to reimburse me and order him to pay for half? I hope so.
His share may not be exactly half. Some states do this as a % of total income. I am assuming you make less b/c you are asking for spousal support therefore 50-50 would be generous offer in many states. In my D, I made 60% of the family income and thus my medical responsibilities for the kids was 60%.
5. Tuition: Both kids have needs (emotional, educational, development, cognitive). Our DS15 is in a private school that provides accommodations, extra attention, and emotional support. Stbx has refused to help towards tuition. Will the judge order him to help pay tuition?
The judge may order this. Make sure you have and paper work showing professional referrals to this program. Or any other paperwork to indicate that standard public schools can't provide for your kids' needs.
Will the judge order him to reimburse me his half of the past two school years? For one school year, I have a signed agreement that he would be responsible. I'm worried that the judge will say that is for civil court.
A judge might if those expenses were incurred during your time of separation, and you proved the NEED for that school
6. Credit card debt: Will the judge order him to pay for half?
Depends on the state and then you may not have the ability to keep collectors off of you if he doesn't pay his half.
7. Spousal support: Yah, it would be helpful but I'm not holding my breath. I believe I am asking for $300 or $400 a month for 6 years. I really just need it for 3 years though. We were married for 20 years.
Depends on the state. My XW made enough $ to support herself so she didn't get any spousal support
8. Taxes: He screwed me over the first year by claiming both children so I have gone by IRS residency rule since then. I hope the judge doesn't order me to redo my taxes and force me to do it with him.
This would be at a judges discretion. Also you need to have your future claiming rights in your settlement. You might be forced to split the kids on the tax returns in your settlement
9. Cars: We have 2. I don't know how this will be split.
Look up on kelly blue book (kbb) or edmunds.com the resale value of each car. Or if your state has a property tax on vehicles then use the state's valuation of each vehicle. A judge should try to balance the values out in other means.
10. I am asking that he pay back the money ($16,000) he used from our son's education fund to pay for his vehicle. He was supposed to pay $400 a month until it was paid back but then he left and he now doesn't acknowledge that it was a loan FROM HIS SON'S EDUCATION FUND.
You might have to look into pressing theft charges against your H. The judge should let you know if he even has jurisdiction to decide anything on this item.