SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Dear someone

I returned from a trip and then found my WS that I had left at home having a spot on her dress and walking around with it, upon sleeping on a Sunday. And then on the next day she was dry. How can this be possible. What about the bottle written shagan under the bed. What was it doing there.

Am suspecting she is colouring the pads and duping me to believe she is bleeding. Or am I being paranoid. She is still denying she had a PA and yet I saw a letter from her to the OM describing the D-Day on 2nd Feb,. I suspect there was no Protection. And she may be P.

To be honest it is perfectly possible to be bleeding and spotting one day and then have nothing the next day. I've dealt with it before but there is actually something wrong with me that makes me spot sometimes or bleed for months which I am still getting diagnosed. As for your wife has she always been regular? Has she ever had this happen before? I would ask her directly.

Yes it's possible. If I'm perfectly honest, periods are as much of a mystery to us women as they are to men!

They can last for weeks or just a few days. Sometimes you have a day with almost nothing in the middle of a heavy period.

Contraception interferes a lot too and can make the flow unpredictable.

Best thing to do is talk to her about it. Every woman is different.

I think you have way bigger fish to fry than worrying about her faking her period.

I'd have her get tested (and yourself as well) for STDs and definitely do not be having sex with her.

Are you trying to reconcile?

Whether protection was used or not, STD testing is necessary for both of you.

What about the bottle written shagan under the bed. What was it doing there.

Sorry can you clarify this? Now sure what it means.

Is it possible sure it is. Periods can be regular, and "normal" for women forever but when we undergo an extremely stressful event, or big changes things can change and be very unpredictable. In addition as we get older, and enter our early to mid 40's our hormones do all kinds of fun things, as our bodies start preparing for menopause. Things can be really unpredictable then.

If you suspect she is P how far along would she be? Is she showing? Are her breasts any different? Have you noticed anything in her behaviors that would indicate she is P other than this? Not drinking alcohol? Not exercising if she did regularly before? Weight gain, or a new belly pooch?

Thank you for your responses. This will surely go a long way to help start the R journey.

She is still in the Affair fog. Not yet admitting and yet I have evidence to the fact that she had a PA on 2.2.2014. Seeing that he forced himself on her looks like there was no protection. (She describes this to him in a letter that I fell into.) So that is what raises my suspicion. Well what would the small bottle be doing under the bed. (probably colour). I have no nerve yet to approach her with my suspicions. I will just wait and see. Also getting some phone records to confirm from her texting. that has been so intense in the last three months.

Well what would the small bottle be doing under the bed

What is this bottle? I don't know what Shagan is?

Keep all of the proof you have. Hide it from her. Keep documenting all proof you get.

Watch and pay attention at this time. Forced sex could also cause bleeding. But not for a prolonged period of time. But that one time, yes. Forced sex IS rape. At least in this country.

Wait you have proof that a man forced himself upon your wife, and she is denying it?

Are you sure that her denials aren't that of a WS that is trying to hide the truth, and not those of someone who has been raped?

Have you actually said I know you had sex with X on Y date. I am concerned as it indicates it may not have been consensual. Please be honest with me. This is killing me.

If she was raped, but had crossed some boundaries prior to it with flirting she may well be hiding what happened because of shame and guilt.

Still not getting what you are referring to about the "bottle under the bed".

Based on the tiny bit of information you have shared, I would urge you to quit playing games and be up front with her. If she was raped, and is pregnant she needs to take care of herself. If she was raped, and is being effected by it, and trying to hid it she needs help. If she had planned to have sex and start an A, or have a one time thing, it needs to be addressed. If she refuses to open up, then make an appointment to see the Dr and then tell her you are taking her.

you've gotten good advice

you are her husband - protect her and yourself in the process with upfront honesty. It'll only hurt briefly like when a bandaid is pulled and then it's over.

Talk to her and get her and yourself tested for STD's and her for a pregnancy. If it was forced it's rape = she can of course press charges and if I were you and it wasn't consensual even if she's not denying her small part of allowing him in the house or something, I would absolutely be pushing her to protect herself and you in the process. Her guilt for leading him on doesn't condone that suddenly no stops meaning no...

just my two cents

really hope your WW is not pregnant

((huge hugs))

Dear All

I have now found the contents of the bottle are after all some olive oil that we use for anointing. Will now just wait for the text log from the phone co. for more info. For my own information.

The letter that I have is strictly kept on my google docs hidden. And don't intend to share with her. At this point I am trying to protect her.

As for the forced sex, she mentioned in her letter to the OM that he came on to her, but then things just moved on so fast and it happened. It seemed to happen again in the woods when they went to the project area they work together after that incident.

Then when he gets back to his country (btw he is a retired senior citizen in Another country) they engage in letter writing across oceans and then texting. And this she says made her develop the chemistry. And since they are involved in a project together they are still in contact. And he is scheduled to come back

I am hoping that one day she will be driven to leave and confess and consider reconciliation. I am trying to back off but it is killing me to be patient. I keep wanting to raise the issue again and again. Hoping it will break her walls. She is currently so in love (or is it lust) with him and cant stop texting with him. I have chosen not to read her messages when they come. But she is surely very exited by them.

Am new to this and getting to learn how to share my story. I am sorry folks I have started from the current and working my way backwards.