I think that "fake it till you make it" is mostly for people who are still thrashing around on the emotional rollercoaster and don't know which way is up.
"Should I go? Should I stay? Crap, what day is it? Have I even eaten today?!?" <--- This is an example of the peak of my confused days, and I hoped that R was possible, so going through the motions with a remorseful FWS made sense.
Faking it when you know the horse is dead is a whole other thing. Some people stay because limbo feels safer than D, and in that case the best thing is to bunker down and work on yourself and your own happiness and future with minimal impact to the relationship. Which DOES come with an amount of faking it, which IS soul draining.
The thing for everyone to keep in mind is that what is happening today doesn't have to be what every day from now on is going to look like. We really have to do the best with what we have, and to be brave when both our hearts and brains are in accordance but our body won't move. This shit is NOT easy, but the more we work on centering ourselves the more we can face our troubles with power instead of fear.
[This message edited by Jrazz at 2:45 PM, May 20th (Tuesday)]