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KBeguile posted 5/21/2014 05:25 AM

One of the things I have struggled with prior to and during R is Porn Addiction. Within the last couple months, though, my realization that I am far less creative when I have been influenced by porn (even by itself, without further action) has severed what I feel is the last of lots of FOO ties to pornography for me. Given the time period necessary to develop habits, I have developed several habits (both good and bad) to counteract the need for Porn.

Well, there's also a local radio show that I've followed for 12? years. Same host, rotating cast over the time period. Seems like a totally good guy - heart's in the right place and all that - and I definitely relate to aspects of his childhood and his humor. However, recently another of the cast members on the show has been very vocal about his love for Kate Upton. At first, I thought nothing of it, but I suppose it's been waging war at the back of my mind for some time now. As a result, the local show posted on their blog this particular cast member's reaction to a Kate Upton "Cat Daddy Dance" video.

I never saw the reaction. I only saw the original video, and the original video was enough to make my blood boil with embarrassment. I couldn't believe that I had sat there and watched someone humiliate herself just for Internet traffic. It filled me with rage and disgust, and I don't think I closed the video nearly fast enough.

I also haven't been back to podcasts OR live radio of the show - a show I've been devoted to for 12 years - because of how they've used objectifying another human being to promote their own show. To put it another way, when I listen to shows like "RadioLab" and "Stuff You Should Know," I don't get a feeling of a "boys' club" like I get now when I think of the local show. And, now, even though I have 30+ hours of the local show on podcast, I can't and don't want to listen to it.

I post this not because I'm seeking advice or absolution in any way, but rather because I want people to see just how much a mind can change when it has proper motivation. Healthy habits in place of non-healthy ones can make all the difference, and could possibly lead you to realizing that you've had other bad influences surrounding you the whole time. I'm happy and relieved that I have discovered this for myself, and I am going to confidently and cheerfully eliminate the influences of this local radio show from my life.

Thanks, SI, for being a safe place.

Remone posted 5/21/2014 08:10 AM

Great post Kbeguile. I totally understand you on this. Isn't it funny/uncomfortable when your senses are awakened to how things that used to seem just fine but now send alarm bells going off in your head? This can be as simple as watching interactions between other spouses who are friends of ours. I refer to my porn days thinking as "porn brain". Once you stop watching that s**t your brain has a whole lot of extra bandwidth for processing important stuff.

Peace.

KBeguile posted 5/22/2014 18:27 PM

Absolutely, Remone. It is amazing how much brain-space that crap takes up.

sadone29 posted 5/23/2014 08:44 AM

Great post!

It permeates all of society, doesn't it? I had to stop watching my favorite show, Game of Thrones this season, because it just hit me how badly they treat women. I know so many argue that they are deciding to take off their clothes for the show. But do we know that for sure? Do they make the choice out of desperation to 'make it' in Hollywood? The truth is, we don't know what's going on in their minds, so for me it was best to just stop supporting the show. When you see things clearly, it's easy to give things up.

H is doing well in his recovery. It comes out in many way. One of them is that he will only listen to the local Christian radio station. :)