One of the things I have struggled with prior to and during R is Porn Addiction. Within the last couple months, though, my realization that I am far less creative when I have been influenced by porn (even by itself, without further action) has severed what I feel is the last of lots of FOO ties to pornography for me. Given the time period necessary to develop habits, I have developed several habits (both good and bad) to counteract the need for Porn.
Well, there's also a local radio show that I've followed for 12? years. Same host, rotating cast over the time period. Seems like a totally good guy - heart's in the right place and all that - and I definitely relate to aspects of his childhood and his humor. However, recently another of the cast members on the show has been very vocal about his love for Kate Upton. At first, I thought nothing of it, but I suppose it's been waging war at the back of my mind for some time now. As a result, the local show posted on their blog this particular cast member's reaction to a Kate Upton "Cat Daddy Dance" video.
I never saw the reaction. I only saw the original video, and the original video was enough to make my blood boil with embarrassment. I couldn't believe that I had sat there and watched someone humiliate herself just for Internet traffic. It filled me with rage and disgust, and I don't think I closed the video nearly fast enough.
I also haven't been back to podcasts OR live radio of the show - a show I've been devoted to for 12 years - because of how they've used objectifying another human being to promote their own show. To put it another way, when I listen to shows like "RadioLab" and "Stuff You Should Know," I don't get a feeling of a "boys' club" like I get now when I think of the local show. And, now, even though I have 30+ hours of the local show on podcast, I can't and don't want to listen to it.
I post this not because I'm seeking advice or absolution in any way, but rather because I want people to see just how much a mind can change when it has proper motivation. Healthy habits in place of non-healthy ones can make all the difference, and could possibly lead you to realizing that you've had other bad influences surrounding you the whole time. I'm happy and relieved that I have discovered this for myself, and I am going to confidently and cheerfully eliminate the influences of this local radio show from my life.
Thanks, SI, for being a safe place.