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Newest Member: Pollybr (61080)

User Topic: Restitution - to the beach!
♀ 41193
Member # 41193
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Months ago, our MC asked if there was any restitution my WH could do to "pay" for his A. I said, "There's nothing that can make this 'even'."

HOWEVER, that was before I learned that he took the A underground for 5 months. Now that I wasted months of going to IC and MC (and its a one hour drive each way), I just reserved an ocean front hotel room at Virginia Beach for 4 days.

This weekend, I'm going (alone) to a friend's birthday party at a resort, then driving to the beach (even though, technically, I/we can't afford this, but what-the-hey).

Seven days of being with friends and then being alone (which I don't mind at all)! I am so looking forward to this!

I will spend that time trying to make the decision whether to R, S or D.

Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016

Posts: 961 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 38879
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!

Enjoy your "me" time. We all need it, especially with this shit storm we are caught in.

Wish I could go with, I love the beach. Alas, wrong ocean for me!

BW - mid 50's WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm 2+ year EA/PA
TT until 2016 - why do they do that?

Trust is earned, respect is given, & loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one is to loose all three.

Posts: 508 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: SF Bay Area/NorCal
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you, Oak Street ! My xh spent money on his bimbo, as well, and it was money I later learned we did not have. I should have reserved a month's worth of rooms on the beach; it would have been time far better spent there than at home going to MC and trying to put the pieces of our M back together / a futile exercise, for sure. Go to the party, enjoy your friends, then spend time by the water and, instead of thinking about your mess of a marriage, try to just relax. Take time for you and push aside your WH if you can. Just enjoying R & R for you may end up giving you more clarity later as to your marriage. (((( ))))

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

Posts: 1239 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri
♀ 42399
Member # 42399
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome. Truly. Have a great time.

"My heart was broken and my head was just barely inhabitable. " - Anne Lamont

Posts: 128 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 30631
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 9:24 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did the same. I took the time, to think, to see friends, to try to figure out how I wanted to live and go forward. So, Good for you! Take your time, relax, and spend some time contemplating your life and the life you want going forward. Learn how nice it is to be independent again for a little bit and how empowering it can be. I don't regret one moment, and am so glad I did it.
(Bonus, scared the hell out of my fwh).

In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!

Posts: 917 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
♂ 32380
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, May 21st (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live 10 minutes from the beach and I can tell you I spent a lot of time there by myself working through much of this in my head. In fact I still spend a lot of time there.

BS(me) 50
WW 49
1 son 17 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

Posts: 1636 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
Topic Posts: 6

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