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Newest Member: RoreverBlue (61146)

User Topic: When does this get easier??
♀ 42758
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just venting.....almost 5 months out from Dday...we signed the separation agreement today. He is still with OW. I have my good and bad days. Everytime I see him I get so ANGRY and ANGRY with OW....she runs in the same social circle.

On the positive, our house is under contract and I will be moving in early July-- so no more bad memories from all the parties we had here...with OW involved.

I know I am giving them too much headspace, but it's so hard when she is everywhere!

I know this is still fresh, had not idea he was unhappy...somedays I can't believe this is my life.

Thanks for listening!!

[This message edited by freeatlast72 at 5:58 PM, May 22nd (Thursday)]

Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
♀ 34146
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You are still so new at only 5 months out. One big thing is not to measure your healing against anyone else's. People are different in their reactions; however, it's generally said that it takes 2-5 years to recover from infidelity.

The healing is incremental, and not always linear, but someday you'll wake up and realize how happy you are.

I really recommend the book "Getting Past Your Breakup" and the book "Journey From Abandonment to Healing" is often recommended here as well.

Try to go as NC as possible. I see you have a rather young child together, so it won't be possible to go complete NC, but there are other parents here who can give you tips on what works/doesn't work for their situation.

As for your social circle, I don't know details, but I'd seriously look into making some changes there. I know I would not continue to be friends with anyone who wanted to be friends with WXH/MOW.

Arrange your life for success, and that means limit your exposure to toxic people.

[This message edited by phmh at 6:32 PM, May 22nd (Thursday)]

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

Posts: 4445 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 40551
Member # 40551
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, May 22nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. I'm in a similar situation to you. It drives me crazy when I get some upset and derailed thinking of him and the OW riding off into the sunset. But I remind myself there is a whole world out there for me, a whole new beginning (which is scary albeit exciting). I think of the possibility that lies ahead of me. When I stay in that mindset, it is easier and I look forward, not back. What's that quote "don't look back. That's not the direction you are going"

Good luck! And yea, get a new social group to hang out with. No pain shopping for you. You deserve much more than that.

BS - Me, 36
FWH- Him, 38
Married 10 years, 3 beautiful kids 6 and under
DDay - Sept 13, 2013
TT for 7 months

Posts: 17 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, May 23rd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I'm two years out from D-day and I still get angry as fuck. Not as often as I used to...and I don't have to run out my anger anymore (but it still helps).

This shit takes time. And it is okay to feel angry...just focus that anger into a positive outcome for you.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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