I don't know where the best place is to post this thread but here goes. Last year my H and I separated, we'd been married for 23 years and struggled for the past several to sort out our issues, his depression, my lack of support etc., culminated in us growing far apart and we no longer knew which way to turn so I told him I wanted out and we parted.
We were apart for 5 months and during that time I met somebody else and got into a brief rebound relationship. My H and I at the time weren't talking and at that stage there was absolutely no chance of us ever getting back together, we were planning our divorce and he was in the process of buying out my share of the house. He found out I was seeing somebody else and that caused untold bitterness and anger and made me so depressed I was on the verge of suicide.
Forward two months and I had split from the OM and had the time to get my head back together only to realise that I still loved my H, despite everything that had happened between us so took the plunge and asked him if he would be willing to talk to me again and discuss the future. We emailed each other initially, then talked face to face and realised we wanted to be together and try to make a success of things so we reunited.
We've been back together for 3 and a half months now and have been taking things slowly but getting on very well, the old hurts and resentments have been eradicated and we have begun with a clean slate, so to speak. My problem is feeling that my H is keeping his distance and not letting himself get emotionally attached to me, when I have discussed this with him he says he was ripped to shreds and no longer trusts me not to hurt him and he can't bear the thought that I was with somebody else during our time apart. I completely understand how and why he feels this way and am doing my best to put my own needs on hold but I can't deny that it hurts me to feel this way.
I have told him I love him several times and am loving and affectionate, and trying to be as caring a person as I can but it's tearing me apart that he won't let me in or reciprocate these feelings.
How do I proceed, how am I meant to respond, is it fair to tell him I need something back from him to help to rebuild the bond. He has said he wants us to be together and wants to be with me but doesn't know how to let his barriers down.
Has anybody else been in a similar situation?