He is cheating... The signs are all there. Sadly, we see the same behaviors in most WS's that we read about here at SI.com. And he sounds like a fucking selfish asshole! Sorry, but since my DDays, I now curse so much more
I've always felt that if I believed in hell, there should be a place just for cheaters that cheat on pregnant women and sick/dying spouses!
Oh please try to take care of yourself for your babies. I know it's hard but reach out to friends family and even us for support.
[This message edited by BreatheAgain10 at 12:37 AM, May 24th (Saturday)]
What you are going through is devastating. The selfish acts of the WS are horrifying but all too common. Youa are like the 10th pregnant BS I've read about the past couple months. Apparently when a woman honors you with the precious gift of having your baby, this is the ideal time to become a jerk.
Keep posting here. We will support you the best we can. Hug your son and take care of your baby and yourself.
As to the reading. Take a look at the upper left corner, at the yellow box, and click on The Healing Library. Start reading. Also, go back through the first 3 pages of this forum and any time you see a post with a red "target" next to it, click on it, and read the first page. This is all information for you that will be very helpful. Especially read the link you were given above in the FAQs about the 180. Start practicing it. You need to detach from your WH and start concentrating on you, your unborn child, and your son. Take this weekend to truly figure out what you will and will not stand for. Right now, you are being treated, not as a wife, but as the household drudge Plan B, who is there to keep HIS life going while ho goes out and screws his whore. That's not what your vows said and you Do Not Have to stand for it.
I would urge you to start researching lawyers in your area and on Tuesday, make a couple of appointments to find out exactly what you can expect from a legal separation or divorce. Your WH should have only two choices. 1) Utter commitment to you and the marriage, which means doing anything and everything that YOU need, to start healing, or 2) being divorced, which means you filing for child support, spousal support, custody, and everything else you can think of. Don't allow him to weasel or give you the I Don't Knows, etc. There are only two choices you are married or you are not. So start educating yourself legally.
But please, take this weekend and be very kind to yourself. Tomorrow will certainly come in it's own good time. Right now, this very instant, you need to take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your babies, born and unborn. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
It takes a special kind of evil for someone to do this to their pregnant spouse.
Sending you strength.
I totally agree with Skan - Find yourself a lawyer
Give your WH exactly what he "thinks" he wants. More times than not, their bubble eventually bursts and they realize that it's not everything its cracked up to be. All relationships take work.
The grass is not always greener, its greener where you water it!!
You can't "nice" your WH back into the relationship. Do yourself a favor and learn from mine (and others) mistakes! Don't even try it. Now is the time for you to take control of your life. Start the 180 immediately. The 180 is for you. You need to be OK, with or without your WH.
You are not alone, we are here for you.
Together 8 years
DDay: June 24, 2013
Knowledge is power. Take care of you and your little one. I know its hard. Hang in there.
[This message edited by isadora at 8:51 PM, May 24th (Saturday)]
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
I have an 8th month old tiny little son I am raising on my own after catching my x with another woman in another state, living at her house. I will spare the details, it is a long story.
If there is any support from afar that I can offer, I would be glad to. This is a very lonely way to walk the earth but you can do it.
We can do it. I have another friend from college who is in the same situation with a 9 month old little son and she too has another almost grown child.
I am so sorry for all the feelings you are going through. If you care to reach me I am here and you can also private message me if you like.
I was married for 20 years and knew the man for 4 prior to that, was stay at home mom and all, so I am out on my ear with two kids, my clothes, car ow didn't want and nothing else.
One thing that does offer me great comfort is my children themselves. I'm not super religious, but for me, this new baby is kind of like an angel, a last gift that I don't really know why he came, but he is here. Oh, I know the science of it, but not the spiritual part except that maybe he was sent to save me from being totally alone in my hour of need.
So you see, you are not really alone either, though lonely, because you have the spirit inside waiting to meet you, very soon.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Protect yourself legally, and financially..Doing these two things will give you more time and space to deal with your emotions without risking your ability to meet your physical needs...
60 years young..