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risingfromashes posted 5/24/2014 13:43 PM

I posted a whine last night about being lonely. So in true Rising form, after my pity party followed by wine, I woke up this morning and went for long walk. Oxygenating the brain is always a good way to get a grip. Okay...lonely? Then do something.
I signed up at Zoosk.

It was like throwing a fresh bloody carcass into a tank of hungry sharks! I posted on out of focus picture shot from a distance with sunglasses on.
Made me a little nervous. Anyone familiar with this site?

nutmegkitty posted 5/24/2014 16:45 PM

I am not, but hell, maybe I should sign up too.

Weak, lame laugh goes here .

Ashland13 posted 5/25/2014 11:02 AM

This is my life right now, too.

Zoosk. Crazy place, that.

When Perv was first caught, that's where his mug was found eta, in my house! So me being me, signed on to see what I could find out.

Mind you, I put no picture and zero details and Bam! My phone would not stop beeping with men contacting me. Suffice to say, it drove me nuts! And the profiles of those who beeped, may be impolite to say, but made me sad. Maybe fakers, too...ages 18 to 65 and I'm in my 40's.

In upbeat moods I got a snicker, but in low times it was very hard. And besides being super self consious about pictures, I'm considered "old fashioned", with dating, so it felt kind of like competition somehow.

I find many people do the sunglasses thing and I wonder if it also stems from self consciousness.

Finally I took myself down and felt better.

Recently, when the loneliness nearly ate me alive inside, I went on another one. This is about a year later. My reactions were still the same but this time I cried and just felt ugly and like maybe I was trying to hard.

Like your wine, I tend toward Baileys and the exercise because driving takes too much gas money, lol. What I'm finding, FWIW, is that trying to fill the void in other ways is better, though sucks. And I recognize the feelings when the down swing comes and then have to pick myself back up again. I found when I tried to ignore it, almost like a spell that went away, it was worse.

I also tell myself, "it is temporary", whatever the outcome.

Sorry for long message-it hit home.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 11:05 AM, May 25th (Sunday)]

Ashland13 posted 5/26/2014 00:08 AM

P.S. Recently I "joined" one of these sites, just to get my feet wet and see what everyone is talking about. This time I made a correct profile.

I'm very insecure and have been so nervous about pictures, but finally just said heck with it and put one there.

Well, I will relax a little, because among some of the men to pick from, there is one gent fast asleep in a swimming pool!

There's also a little kid that got on there some how.

And, mine has one of the lowest "popularity" ratings! So I think this is a good lesson for my older self.

It also struck me, as I looked through it, here so many of us are, trying to get a date from what is clearly our very own bathrooms!

It made me feel so strange, like how in society did we arrive at such a point?

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