I'm not sure you are actually in reconciliation, my dear. It really does take 2 to do so. You may actually just be getting by, like most of us maybe? I know I am getting by, though others may call it reconciliation - it's not, I'm here only because of my child, so I'm getting by and my child is THRIVING. So being a perfect parent, pat on my back, yes, I'm getting by - by my choice, being strong as possible.
So I think you are getting by, living on your strength (yes, you are strong - you've gone thru a lot.)
And he can have the sick Chinese prostitute life style (or any type of prostitute lifestyle he wants) here also. With all due respect, any culture that comes here, whether any Eastern Culture or Western or any in between - they don't just bring themselves, they bring their culture. Here in LA - there is a very heavy Eastern Massage culture, of which my husband indulged in heavily along with the other strip parlours which are in every culture, so just letting you know it's very much here and if he wasn't getting it there he'd get it here. Prostitution is accepted much better in Europe, also. When I lived in England as a teen, I was looked upon as a prude for my American standards not accepting porn and prostitution was prudish with all my very educated friends, you see, because it is the right of every woman to do whatever she wants with her body and is the right of every man to do what she will allow and I disagreed for civilizations and family well fare and I was laughed at a lot.
It's all about respect and every and all runaway cheaters, male or female, have decided long ago, way before the cheating, that what they want counts most and what they can get away with they will and it's all out there for the taking.
You should talk to him - he needs a piece of your mind as long as you decide to stay, in my opinion only. AND you have every right to say - sorry but no China, no Korea, no Asia whatsoever EVER. Of course, like I said he can get it here (anything is available in the United States too) where my husband did. I can't imagine what he'd do in an actual Asian country - where I've heard it's more ok - where here, "normal moral non- prostitute sex selling persons try to take a stand some of the time. Mind blowing, I'm sure, for those men who are into any sexual deviance. It's so sad to me that still in this day and age, the more rights women are given the more so many choose the right to sell their bodies (it's their right) - so sick. But I expect soon in this country prostitution will be legal like pot is in many areas. Anything goes now here and everywhere it seems.
Anyway, you have the right also - to demand no more travel. My husband is never allowed to travel. If he wants his child to live with him 24/7 then no travel. And no cheating and no porn and no anything whack... He has just passed his polygraph with a poly guy that does 98% sex or cheating tests. His father has done this work his whole life and has learned from the best and I met them both and the tester is as satisfied as possible. NO, I'm not bragging, I'm saying what it takes to STAY with me.
So what does it take, Dear Sadjacey, to stay with you?
Hugs and Hugs and super hugs.
[This message edited by mychild at 4:52 PM, May 26th (Monday)]