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new childhood memories

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ProbableIceCream posted 5/26/2014 11:50 AM

I keep having these childhood memories.. generally good ones. Sometimes it's happy--it channels an old mood and it's in sync with how I'm feeling, or it's a warm and fuzzy nostalgia. But sometimes remembering the happy stuff makes me sad because I miss it. I feel like it could have happened yesterday, but in reality so much time has passed and it's all gone in a sense. And it highlights how dark and bleak my life has been in the interim. Not all the time, of course. But I've been through some very prolonged, very dark times.

This is new with the EMDR target I started a couple sessions back (not surprisingly, one that took place when I was around 13.. and I'm remembering stuff from around age 7- age 13). Before... these memories were buried under a fog. It's like I'm finding bits of my childhood again.

jo2love posted 5/26/2014 16:49 PM

(((Probable)))

It's good that you are working on yourself with EMDR. I've heard it is very successful.

I hope your future is filled with happy moments.

NaiveAgain posted 5/26/2014 20:33 PM

But sometimes remembering the happy stuff makes me sad because I miss it. I feel like it could have happened yesterday, but in reality so much time has passed and it's all gone in a sense. And it highlights how dark and bleak my life has been in the interim. Not all the time, of course. But I've been through some very prolonged, very dark times.
That is exactly how I have been feeling. I see things that make me remember my childhood, or my very early marriage, when I was so innocent and positive about my future. It makes me sad that things didn't turn out quite that way and that life wasn't quite what I thought it would be.

I am so ready for the dark times to end. I do think EMDR sounds very helpful. It's nice that you are remembering things.

ProbableIceCream posted 5/26/2014 20:37 PM

Naive, it's not all bad--a lot of those memories are things I could pretty easily recreate. E.g., I'm outside on a cool, windy, cloudy day in fall looking at the leaves on the trees. Or I'm learning or doing something new that's exciting.

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