WXH has been acting squirrelly, and has not contacted his kids in months. (Both DSs are 20). I suspect he is on vacation, possibly his honeymoon. Even if it's not the case now, I know it will be soon.
Question is, when he marries her, do I tell the kids, or make him do it? I believe he should do it. I also know he won't....or if he does it will much later in the future, I feel like if I know he's gotten married, it would be lying not to tell the boys. But then, once again, I am doing the hard work with the kids while he does nothing.
Advice? Do I tell the kids, because they should know, or wait and make him do it, which may happen long down the road, or not at all?
FTR... What a douche !!!
I found out that XH and NW got married before their wedding happened. They were married in secret 2 weeks after our divorce was final. The wedding was 6 weeks later. I found out almost a year after that.
My kids found out about the secret day a couple of years ago and asked me if I knew? Yes. Why didn't you tell us? It wasn't my news to tell, and I didn't want to hurt you.
Besides-they weren't in a place where they would believe he would do that. My telling them would have been interpreted by XH as attempts at parental alienation. I needed to be careful and protect my relationship with them. This was not a hill I needed to die on. Choose your battles wisely.
[This message edited by trying_2_recover at 3:26 PM, May 26th (Monday)]
It won't be a shock to either of them. I've warned them it will probably happen if it hasn't already. I'm just so over doing WXHs dirty work!!
Bright side....when I realized this morning they might actually be married, my only feeling was, "Meh". I waited a bit and checked myself again, and my only feeling about it is....who cares? I never thought I'd actually reach this day of, well I guess it's indifference. I've posted lately that I've struggled with old memories of us....but I have not missed the "current" WXH in a long time! I truly do not care what he does with his life.....and man, that feels really, really good. Especially when I wasn't sure I'd ever actually get here! So, yay!