I just need to get some words out because I'm awake and can't figure out how to shut down the thoughts in my head.
I told my story in the JFO forum, but for a recap, on 5/8, I discovered, for the fourth time in our relationship, H has set up profiles on discreet sex sites.
I can't stop thinking what else don't I know. I spent today scanning through the phone logs for last month, with a couple of minor blips I need to follow up on, including 2 phone calls to a local florist (let's just say I haven't received any flowers lately!) The other phone calls, however, only last 1-2 minutes, so I don't see a lot of phone activity. I did however, reactivate the email addy he had set up, and found another site he had not told me about in there. I haven't been able to get the account open, and I know he won't open it if I ask him, so I'm saving the emails (he doesn't know the password anymore, and I've reset the security questions to only what I know).
He is absolutely clueless. I haven't been eating well, and when I eat, I get sick (I have IBS). I threw out the other day when he asked what was wrong that my emotions were overwhelming me physically. He just glanced right over it. He does not accept any responsibility for what he has done.
I should have the financials separated within the next week. It's so hard to see him just not care that I'm in this place (which is obvious, all of my friends have noticed I look like heck). I can't be normal with him right now...I'm so hurt and angry. Thankfully he goes back to work tomorrow (he is a construction worker and is just getting back to regular work). At least I will know he won't be home all day with free computer access.
I want off this rollercoaster....it's coming, but not soon enough.