Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: wileyconfused (46027)

User Topic: Thoughts requested - pros and cons of second dog?
ISPIFFD
♀ 26367
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In a nutshell, I made it through the land-shark/wild-n-crazed puppy phase with Cobber last year and this past polar-vortex winter. Now that he's turned into a wonderful dog who's so much fun to be with, I find myself wondering about getting a 2nd dog.

I've had 2 dogs before -- they didn't dislike each other but they didn't much care for each other either, never played together. I see photos on fb all the time of pets that actually like each other, play together, cuddle together.

I have 4 indoor cats already and not one of them likes any of the others. In fact, I wish I hadn't adopted the 4th one because even after years of being together in different houses, my first 3 cats still pick on the 4th one.

Anyway, because of all this, I remain on the fence. A 2nd dog could be wonderful, fun for me, fun for my current dog (he LOVES to play with other dogs, and I wish we had more neighborhood dog friends for him to hang with). I have the space inside and outside. I have the finances to provide good care.

However, it could also end up being a crate-and-rotate nightmare replete with resource guarding, fights, extra housebreaking issues, etc.

I simply don't know. I don't want to end up feeling the same way I do about my cats -- that I should have stopped at 3 (or 2 or 1) because they don't really get along.

For those of you with more than one dog, what convinced you to do it? Would love to hear pros and cons from everyone.

Oh, and in case anyone read my recent house-swapping post, the home I'm moving back into (my former marital home) has even more space. And I would wait until that move happens before getting this theoretical 2nd dog. I'm just thinking ahead here and wondering


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1903 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why not try fostering? That way you can test drive it.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17788 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have 5 dogs, and three of the dogs play endlessly with each other. The other two are older and they like to sleep with each other, so it works out well. We have always had more than one dog and usually they get along well, I think the getting one of the opposite sex is important, and being careful of the temperament is also important. Don't get one that is more dominant than your current dog. Maybe get one that is just a little younger than current dog, and also likes to play. Check out a rescue, they will usually let you return if it is not working out.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5239 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have a good dog now, and want him to have a buddy, then I would suggest another young adult dog, that is close to equal in size, and temperament. I think a foster or a rescue may be in your wheelhouse too.

We always have had multiple dogs, and think they are actually happier when they have a buddy. We were down to just one, and with the kids being almost college ready, didn't want to get another dog to own.

We are trying our hand at fostering for soldiers. See my post on "Doing my part for Memorial Day" .
We are working with a group called Dog on Deployment, and you foster for the time that they are actively deployed. This particular family is choosing to pay for all medical, and food costs as well.
So far so good.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8893 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 2 dogs that get along well and sometimes play together. They played together a lot more when then were younger. Now they are older and like to laze around and sleep.

They are about the same size and about the same age. Both spayed females. Very different personalities but they get along great. One is the alpha in all things except food. The other was an abused shelter dog and she is the alpha when it comes to food. The first dog is laid back and does not care about that as long as she gets to be the boss in all other areas. If my first dog was not laid back then the food issue could have been a disaster.

When I was looking for the second dog, I brought alone my first dog to make sure that they got along. If they growled at each other on the first meet then I knew I would not take home a second dog.

Good luck!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have 4 dogs, and it works well for me because I'm never home - the party is ongoing, whether I'm there or not.

The 4th one has been a bit of a problem because he's aggressive. I have stopped stepping into their battles, because I think they need to work it out amongst themselves.

With my corgis, I've been told that more than 1 male is fine. Multiple females are trouble, and I've found that to be true.

Good luck!


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7865 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
marchmadness
♀ 6475
Member # 6475
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was a one dog household up until 5 years ago. We now have three and I love it. All three of the dogs have been with us since they were puppies.

They are 11, 5, and 3...male, female, male...all small breed. Until we purchased the female, the older male slept a lot and was gaining weight. He acts and looks younger now at 11 than he did at 6.

All three play together and then collaspe and sleep in the same chair. We have never had a fight. In fact the 3 year old is only 7 pounds and has 3 legs, and older two know to take it down a notch when playing with him and they let him "win". The female comes running if he lets out the smallest of yelps.

It has been very rewarding to get a glimpse into their social dynamics. They are more evolved and compasionate than most people I know . If you have the space, patience, and time, I vote to give it a try.

[This message edited by marchmadness at 11:42 AM, May 27th (Tuesday)]


You get to sleep in the bed you make...be careful what goes on between the sheets.

Posts: 417 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: pa
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you have a good dog now, and want him to have a buddy, then I would suggest another young adult dog, that is close to equal in size, and temperament.

I agree. We've also always had multiple dogs (as well as our two cats).

We currently have a white German Shep (our only female furbaby), a Pomeranian, and a teacup Chi that hubby found about a month ago.
The Pom and the Chi are both VERY new additions (we recently lost 2 dogs that we'd had for over 6 years and raised from pups).
Our Pom is a total lovebug and gets along with everyone and everything. His best buddy in the house is actually one of our cats.
Our GS is "mama bear" and tries to mother everyone from her human kids on down to the cats.
The teacup just basically sleeps all day.

I love that they keep each other company.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 3:03 PM, May 27th (Tuesday)]


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6737 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
scaredyKat
♀ 25560
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IDK about dogs, but it seems a foster situation could work well. If the temperaments don't match, it's not a permanent placement.

I know that despite the fact that my elderly cat doesn't LOVE her baby sibling, it has put a bit of energy into her that wasn't there before. The vet gave her three months to live last June. She is going strong.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3861 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
purplejacket4
♀ 34262
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've always had multiple dogs. In 25 years of dog ownership I've had one vet visit for a rambunctious injury. And the vet wanted to know why a doctor didn't stitch up her own dog. Um, cuz I'm not a vet. Makes me wonder about his family's health carez


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2357 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had brother/sister Golden Retrievers. They had never been apart until Gracie passed away unexpectedly in 2013. We swore we'd never get another dog (hurt too bad to lose her).

Until I made eye contract with the puppy at the Petco adoption event. We ended up fostering a set of 3 siblings. Within the 1st half hour at our home, the original puppy I'd seen was snuggled up with our remaining Golden. And Loki was allowing it. That was the puppy we kept.

It's been a year and a half now and the two, while wildly dissimilar (105 lb Golden and 30 lb Jack Russell/Beagle mix) in size and temperament, are inseparable. They truly love one another. Even our cat came around and accepts Sam as one of the family. I often find Cookie and Sam curled up together on the dog bed.

I definitely recommend fostering for at least a week to see how the animals all work together. And I definitely think 2 males would be better than 2 females (unless you have an aggressive male).

We are currently dog-sitting a third dog. This one is a year old lab/chow/pit bull mix and all three dogs act like they were litter mates.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1070 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.