After a long conversation this weekend, I think my H has started to really see that his sexuality, his preferences for porn, voyeurism and exhibitionism are a problem for him. They've also been a problem for our marriage. My H is not one for therapy or reading, but I do think that he sees that his preferences set unrealistic expectations for his sex life and when those don't become reality, he is disappointed. Thus, he is often disappointed in our sex life. This leads to depression, withdrawal, loneliness and punishment (both himself and me, by withholding and blaming).
I wonder if anyone knows of any good articles or books on the subject?