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regret12 (original poster member #41902) posted at 4:02 PM on Tuesday, May 27th, 2014
After a long conversation this weekend, I think my H has started to really see that his sexuality, his preferences for porn, voyeurism and exhibitionism are a problem for him. They've also been a problem for our marriage. My H is not one for therapy or reading, but I do think that he sees that his preferences set unrealistic expectations for his sex life and when those don't become reality, he is disappointed. Thus, he is often disappointed in our sex life. This leads to depression, withdrawal, loneliness and punishment (both himself and me, by withholding and blaming).
I wonder if anyone knows of any good articles or books on the subject?
Thanks
Me: WW (PA for 2 1/2 mos. 2001) - DDay 12/8/13
Him: WH (multiple EAs throughout dating and marriage) and two revenge PAs - DDay 1: 1/27/14 DDay 2: 2/20/14
Together 22, married 14
No children
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 4:05 PM on Tuesday, May 27th, 2014
Every Mans Battle by Steve Arterburn will help him understand his choices. It will help him see that porn is not about sex.
Undefiled. Another great book that helps you own what you need to and change what you decide to.
This is a battle that can be won....14 months porn free here. Initial 4-6 weeks is tough, but with a program he can break free from its bondage.
Peace.
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 4:14 PM on Tuesday, May 27th, 2014
Oh...and I wasn't one for reading before I decided to change either. Every Mans Battle grabbed me from the start. It was hard to read in that it opened my eyes to what my OWN choices were doing to me and our M.....I started this AFTER I discovered my wifes affair. Very difficult to see my own faults while her's were so front and center...but it was necessary.
If your husband would like to visit personally on his journey, I would welcome a PM from him. Reaching out and fellowship are a part of breaking free from that sin.
Peace.
ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.
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