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Newest Member: 20yearsplus (61840)

User Topic: Good Weekend
♀ 40819
Member # 40819
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope everyone had a good/descent weekend. Because of Memorial Day WS had a 3 day weekend. We are usually lucky with one day a week. For some reason I didn't really feel the need to bring up the As as I usually would. I believe I asked maybe 2 or 3 questions Throughout the whole weekend, and it was just random thoughts in my head but once I asked and he answered, I was ok. I didn't really want to discuss it over and over. I wasn't obsessive this weekend and I feel like this is a real improvment for me. Since DDAY it's been a constant mind battle in my head, until this weekend. I'm not sure if the TT I just got makes the difference. But all the things that just didn't make sense before the TT do now. It's like I really understand it in a way (as much as I probably will). It was heartbreaking to hear those things but maybe somewhere deep down I knew I was missing the pieces? And that's why I couldn't let it go?. Or maybe I'm having an awesome numb week? Idk, but I thought I would share my little victory. Our ds had a concussion so he was unable to do any physical activities but we had a nice bbq at the house with friends and family. It was a really nice relaxing weekend. I can't remember the last time we didn't have a weekend filled with the after effects of his As.
Has anyone else felt so different after getting the whole story?
My WS isn't a verbal person, nor is he good at expressing his feeling or thoughts. But he told me something last week that has really sat with me and it keeps replaying in my mind everytime I trigger and somehow makes me feel better in a way ,he said
"Durring that time I was lost. I was broken. I was trying to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I knew I didn't want to be the person I had become and I just didn't know how to fix it all. It took me awhile and I never wanted to hurt you"

Together over 13yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Florida
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad you had a good weekend, it can do wonders for recharging your spirit. I can relate to the semblance of peace after full disclosure, it's heart wrenching but it's better than not knowing.

I hope your journey continues in this forward path.

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 1127 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The good times help carry us through. It's really wonderful when you can start to get some of the good back...

I hope you are able to continue to heal together!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 4012 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 37575
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a simple but powerful thing to recognize and reflect on having a good weekend, good for you! I think these are things that move you forward in the R process. It gives you hope doesn't it? "Hey, maybe we can be normal!" That's what I think anyway!

You asked if anyone else felt different after getting the whole story? Yes I did! Although I didn't like getting the whole story, it gave me a relief. I like to face things head on, I want the whole truth, no matter how sad and nasty. I had to ask my fwh many times if this was it, was there anything else. He kept reassuring me it was and you know what? I now can say I believe him and the trust is coming back. I felt much more hopeful after getting the whole story. I finally ran out of questions and I am thinking of it less and less.

Thanks for sharing your "little victory", sounds like a big one to me!
Take care

Me: BW Him: FWH in our 50's
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas

Posts: 700 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Topic Posts: 4

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