I did say something today and she just kind of looked at me and said "i am sorry, i didnt realize wearing a nice shirt was a problem" and i just thought "shit, i feel like a nut case" i dont think people realize that a BS whole thought process has changed, i find i over analize everything now, even though she is doing everything right since around dday, my brain always goes to THAT place first. thanks for listening, hope you all are well.
As a WW I feel grateful when my BH is willing to share his fears. Its because of me he has them so really I should know the full affect. Yes it is surprising sometimes what the trigger is , however. I cannot be defensive in fact, I feel horrible for him. I try to let him know, that its okay, and thank you for telling me. Cause I know as a WW the pain you are in my BH is unbearable.
And these triggers can be crazy making. Its not okay in the sense the world is right but it is okay to feel this way and react .
I hope your WW is supportive. My Bh tells me he never has wanted to be that jealous type and fights it now as well.
I am sorry you are having to go through this.
The logic and the heart work differently, My BH has said it is getting better, its when a trigger or when he's tired or under normal stress sometimes that he is more likely to trigger. So get lots of rest,
Once again I am sorry you are going through this and excuseme if I have over stepped.
Not that this is for everyone, but my WH hardly ever dresses 'nice' any more. He is very conscious of how he dressed for validation, and he is really working at putting to death that part of himself that needed ego stroking. He goes out of his way NOT to attract the attention of women.
I feel like a better response from your wife might have been, "I know it is going to take time for you to trust me again. I did this to you, and I am willing to do anything that you need me to do to help you heal from this soul crushing pain." And then put on a different shirt.
Your old brain had the problem - no one deserves 100% trust 100% of the time.
I was never like this before i was always very trusting with her not a jealous husband or boyfriend, i hate that this is what i have become
Me too. I don't like feeling suspicious, especially when it seems I am suspicious over every little thing even when it isn't logical.
I always felt good about being a non-jealous spouse. Now I feel like I'm being jealous, and I hate the feeling, although really it's less about jealousy and more about trust (or lack of).
DD #1 26 August 2013 - EA on FB and phone with a former flame OW#2 for about 8 months
DD #2 30 April 2014 - A lack of boundaries for 10 months in 2011 with OW#1